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I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die: Moving from Surviving to Thriving When You Can't Go on

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This deeply compassionate, shame-free guide for Christians battling severe depression and suicidal thoughts offers a clear, hopeful road map to a rich, vibrant life in Christ. Countless Christians battle severe, crippling mental health issues. As they toil under the crushing weight of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, a well-meaning Church says, Just choose jo This deeply compassionate, shame-free guide for Christians battling severe depression and suicidal thoughts offers a clear, hopeful road map to a rich, vibrant life in Christ. Countless Christians battle severe, crippling mental health issues. As they toil under the crushing weight of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, a well-meaning Church says, Just choose joy. Pray and read your Bible more. But for many, no amount of prayer or Bible study erases the pain. So they're left with searing shame and the unspoken belief that God has abandoned them. In I Love Jesus, but I Want to Die, author and experienced ministry leader Sarah J. Robinson offers fresh perspective to the Church and life-giving hope for those who live with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Robinson shares proven tools and simple practices that empower readers to fight for wholeness, giving them the confidence that they are not alone in their suffering and they are worth whatever it takes to get well. Beautifully written by a fellow sufferer, I Love Jesus, but I Want to Die leads readers on a journey toward something they thought impossible: a rich vibrant life in Christ, in spite of severe depression and suicidal thoughts.


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This deeply compassionate, shame-free guide for Christians battling severe depression and suicidal thoughts offers a clear, hopeful road map to a rich, vibrant life in Christ. Countless Christians battle severe, crippling mental health issues. As they toil under the crushing weight of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, a well-meaning Church says, Just choose jo This deeply compassionate, shame-free guide for Christians battling severe depression and suicidal thoughts offers a clear, hopeful road map to a rich, vibrant life in Christ. Countless Christians battle severe, crippling mental health issues. As they toil under the crushing weight of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, a well-meaning Church says, Just choose joy. Pray and read your Bible more. But for many, no amount of prayer or Bible study erases the pain. So they're left with searing shame and the unspoken belief that God has abandoned them. In I Love Jesus, but I Want to Die, author and experienced ministry leader Sarah J. Robinson offers fresh perspective to the Church and life-giving hope for those who live with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Robinson shares proven tools and simple practices that empower readers to fight for wholeness, giving them the confidence that they are not alone in their suffering and they are worth whatever it takes to get well. Beautifully written by a fellow sufferer, I Love Jesus, but I Want to Die leads readers on a journey toward something they thought impossible: a rich vibrant life in Christ, in spite of severe depression and suicidal thoughts.

30 review for I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die: Moving from Surviving to Thriving When You Can't Go on

  1. 5 out of 5

    K.J. Ramsey

    In I Love Jesus But I Want to Die, Robinson places a candle in the middle of our darkness. By talking about things Christians have too long kept hidden and hushed, she gives us room to hear our truest name: Beloved. (From my official endorsement)

  2. 4 out of 5

    Jake Kern

    Simply put, this is one of the best books I've ever read regarding mental illness as a Christian within the Church. Do you have people who suggest you don't pray enough or have enough faith because you suffer from mental illness? Do you feel an additional shame from the Church regarding your mental illness over the shame you already feel from society? Do you want to challenge people to be more compationate and to take a more Biblical, compassionate, and helpful stance in helping you deal with de Simply put, this is one of the best books I've ever read regarding mental illness as a Christian within the Church. Do you have people who suggest you don't pray enough or have enough faith because you suffer from mental illness? Do you feel an additional shame from the Church regarding your mental illness over the shame you already feel from society? Do you want to challenge people to be more compationate and to take a more Biblical, compassionate, and helpful stance in helping you deal with depression? Are you someone who loves someone in your life who deals with mental illness and want to better understand how to help? Do you want encouragement and advice on living with mental illness from people who are in the trenches with you? Do you want to approach mental illness from a spiritual, emotional, and physical perspective? Then you need to read this book! From the opening of the very first chapter, I wept as I read the loving words Sarah Robinson shared. I felt like I wasn't alone. I felt seen! I felt challenged in really good, healthy ways to pursue healthy behaviors and lifestyles. It is a book that comforts in the midst of some of the worst hurt I could be experiencing in the moment. It is a book that dares to hope in the midst of the mess. So if you are looking for a book written through the stories and experiences of someone who loves Jesus while battling the pain of mental illness... A book that references the Bible, scientific studies, and the experiences of people fighting the battle... A book that acts as encourager and advocate as you fight your own battle... Then please read this wonderful book. I received this book from the publisher through their book launch program.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Kailey

    As someone who has struggled with depression for so long, I can't recommend this book enough. We live in a society where mental illness isn't talked about. This book makes us take a look at it. If you or someone you love struggles with depression I would recommend reading this! I received a complimentary copy from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed are mine alone. As someone who has struggled with depression for so long, I can't recommend this book enough. We live in a society where mental illness isn't talked about. This book makes us take a look at it. If you or someone you love struggles with depression I would recommend reading this! I received a complimentary copy from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed are mine alone.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Mary

    Some of the best books are the ones that come to you at just the right time. This is one of those books for me. After the stress of the last year, I have been feeling depression symptoms stronger than I have in a while. Sarah’s book made me feel so seen. While no one person’s experience with mental illness is the same, her stories helped me to identify with where I am right now. Also, her thorough research both biblically and with mental health experts took everything to the next level. I can’t Some of the best books are the ones that come to you at just the right time. This is one of those books for me. After the stress of the last year, I have been feeling depression symptoms stronger than I have in a while. Sarah’s book made me feel so seen. While no one person’s experience with mental illness is the same, her stories helped me to identify with where I am right now. Also, her thorough research both biblically and with mental health experts took everything to the next level. I can’t wait to recommend this book to many in my life and feel like it will resonate with those who love someone with depression and anxiety, even if they haven’t experienced it themselves. *I received this book from the publisher through their book launch program, however, this is my honest opinion.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Kristin Vanderlip

    “I love Jesus, but I want to die.” I first had this thought in 2010 after my daughter and dad died, when I was far from home, in a dark and lonely place, overwhelmed by grief. ⁣ ⁣ It was the first time a thought like that had taken shape in my head and I didn’t know what to do with it. Was I suicidal? I didn’t think so. I didn’t have a plan to carry out any harm against myself. But at the same time, I longed for the grave.⁣ ⁣ Those thoughts came and went, but it is here where I began my therapy jour “I love Jesus, but I want to die.” I first had this thought in 2010 after my daughter and dad died, when I was far from home, in a dark and lonely place, overwhelmed by grief. ⁣ ⁣ It was the first time a thought like that had taken shape in my head and I didn’t know what to do with it. Was I suicidal? I didn’t think so. I didn’t have a plan to carry out any harm against myself. But at the same time, I longed for the grave.⁣ ⁣ Those thoughts came and went, but it is here where I began my therapy journey. Years later, however, they returned in another painful season. This time the thoughts were intrusive. They persisted into panic and to a point where I didn’t feel safe with myself.⁣ ⁣ Once again I fought through the shame and continued to seek help and healing and hope from professionals and mentors. My understanding of how a Christian can despair and how God’s presence and healing can look expanded.⁣ ⁣ I wish I had had a copy of this book by @sarahjrbnsn to guide me along on this journey back then. She writes openly like a friend and as a qualified guide, sharing journal entries and hard-won wisdom. Sarah is brave—and also abundantly compassionate and empathetic. I am so grateful she wrote this book and her publisher saw the need for it.⁣ I appreciate how it is both deeply personal and also reads like a guidebook, full of practicality. ⁣ If you’ve ever had this thought, battled despair, or questioned the worth of your life (or loved someone who has), this book is for you.⁣ The world and the Church need this books.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Terese

    Wow, this book. Wow. It was the title that really drew me to this book, as someone who has struggled with mental health, and who now spends time as a mental health support counselor for young adults, I hoped that this book would give me insight into how I may become better at supporting those who seek counsel and someone to vent to. I was especially interested to see this discussed from a faith perspective for a number of reasons. I was not disappointed. To be clear, this is not a medical book to Wow, this book. Wow. It was the title that really drew me to this book, as someone who has struggled with mental health, and who now spends time as a mental health support counselor for young adults, I hoped that this book would give me insight into how I may become better at supporting those who seek counsel and someone to vent to. I was especially interested to see this discussed from a faith perspective for a number of reasons. I was not disappointed. To be clear, this is not a medical book to help you diagnose anyone or yourself (leave that to those better qualified), but it is a very raw and emotional history of a struggle with depression, rounded out with support, helpful tips, and lots of love and acceptance for seeking a path that will serve the individual, yet does not purport mental health as something that can be “fixed”. And that’s okay. The vulnerability of the author moved me to the core, though our circumstances are so different, there was so much overlap in emotional and treatment experience that this book had me in tears, quite often. (It is especially breaks my heart to hear of more people who’ve had the experience of being told by a therapist “it’s your fault I can’t help you”, which is a scarring experience that probably scares many away from trying again). I love that the author really stresses the “excruciating physicality” of mental illness, as well as the discomfort most still experience when it comes to talking about living with “a lifelong disorder” (ch. 9). As well as taking into account the strong feelings and stigma that can be attached to taking medication, and the frustration of not getting better (so to speak) even when you feel like you’ve found something that “should” made you better (be it faith or therapy) , or the frustration of some well-meaning, yet misguided and hurtful, advice that one can get. Though coming from a faith perspective probably helps taking this book in, I would honestly recommend this to anyone who struggles with mental health or knows someone who does. There is just so much ground covered here and so much that really puts you into the shoes of the experience, that you won’t leave this book empty handed. Though the experiences and emotions are unique to each individual, this book will no doubt be deeply relatable for many, and it comes with trigger warnings that helps the reader navigate around particularly sensitive topics like suicide and self-harm. When I started reading this book I wasn’t sure how I would review it, I was scared to even hint at my own struggles with mental health in it and how that would be perceived by others. That initial fear and shame in me shows (something I also see when I support others) that there is still some growing to do when it comes to talking about mental health, we are getting better at it, but books like this one is important in order to continue to remove the stigma of mental illness. Bravo to the author, it is incredible to read something so vulnerable but also helpful. I will carry parts of this book with me for a long time, Thank you lots to NetGalley and WaterBrook (and Random House) for this pre-release copy in exchange for a fair review.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Lori Jorgensen

    As A church we need to do a whole lot better taking care of the flock that battles mental health issues on a daily basis. Learn how to love them minute by minute. As a believer in Christ whom deals with severe depression I found this book to be a refreshing and honest look at people who deal with depression and suicide. The author deals with it personally and she has a honest and kind way about how to put a handle on mental illness. Definitely a book worth having around!!

  8. 4 out of 5

    Kaitlyn Bouchillon

    With vulnerability, generosity, honesty, compassion and truth, Sarah J. Robinson weaves together Scripture and hope as she shares her own experience with mental illness and depression. This is not a "just choose joy" message. This book does not preach at you. Instead, it's a shame-free guide for those who are struggling -- and for those who love someone who is struggling. Truly, it's one I hope thousands upon thousands of people read because it has the power to change the conversation and potenti With vulnerability, generosity, honesty, compassion and truth, Sarah J. Robinson weaves together Scripture and hope as she shares her own experience with mental illness and depression. This is not a "just choose joy" message. This book does not preach at you. Instead, it's a shame-free guide for those who are struggling -- and for those who love someone who is struggling. Truly, it's one I hope thousands upon thousands of people read because it has the power to change the conversation and potentially save lives. Don't miss the valuable resources in the back... warning signs, things to say, tips for tough conversations, and books/podcasts for further learning. Note: Throughout the book, Sarah includes a clear 'warning' when the following content may be triggering. Though none of the highlighted, clearly marked sections were triggering for me personally, I very much appreciate the intentionally and thoughtfulness behind this choice.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Mariale & Pieter Dros

    I don't have words to describe how beautiful this book is. The title already impacted me. When i started to go through the pages of "I love Jesus but i want to die" I could feel Sarah Robinson's heart and her life testimony. She talks about her struggles with mental illness and how she found the deep love of God, who supports and cares for her every day. It helps me to better understand how friends and family around me who live with depression and any kind of mental illness are feeling also it g I don't have words to describe how beautiful this book is. The title already impacted me. When i started to go through the pages of "I love Jesus but i want to die" I could feel Sarah Robinson's heart and her life testimony. She talks about her struggles with mental illness and how she found the deep love of God, who supports and cares for her every day. It helps me to better understand how friends and family around me who live with depression and any kind of mental illness are feeling also it gives me a different perspective how i can help them in their darkest moments. This is a definitely must read book for everybody. Even those that don't have mental illness. It would be great for leaders too. I hope some day it can be translated into Spanish so churches in Latin America will be able to read it. So thankful to have the privilege to read an advance copy from NetGalley.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Chris Gilmore

    I work as a local church pastor and at the Mental Health Association. I have friends and family and parishioners who carry a variety of mental health diagnoses. My life often intersects at the roads of faith and mental health. The church world has so much stigma around mental health issues. We've avoided talking about them, labeled them as sin, and suggested people only need to pray or tithe or repent to get better. This book is an honest reminder than you can love Jesus and still struggle. It r I work as a local church pastor and at the Mental Health Association. I have friends and family and parishioners who carry a variety of mental health diagnoses. My life often intersects at the roads of faith and mental health. The church world has so much stigma around mental health issues. We've avoided talking about them, labeled them as sin, and suggested people only need to pray or tithe or repent to get better. This book is an honest reminder than you can love Jesus and still struggle. It reminds us that therapy and medication are gifts and means of grace. And that a safe community where people can fearlessly and honestly share their burdens is essential to the survival of some of our members. Sara shares her story, the well-intentioned (but faulty) assumptions and advices she was given, and how she found a way to cling to Jesus despite it all. She wrestles with guilt, unanswered prayers, and the longing for a cure and comes out the other side with a better understanding of her God, her faith, and her lifelong battle with depression and suicide ideation. Sarah is not preachy, judgmental, or grudge bearing. She is frank, honest, and still tender. She provides trigger warnings and shaded sections that may be too much for some to read in the midst of heavy seasons of depression. She offers practical ideas for help while not touting them as cure alls or quick fixes. I highly recommend this book. It is a needed story with great insight and help for those who struggle with depression (especially people who follow Jesus) and those in the church who must develop a better understanding of how to love and be in relationship with those who are battling. *I received an advance copy of the book from the publisher in exchange for a fair and honest review.*

  11. 5 out of 5

    Heidi

    I am currently training to be a marriage and family counselor and thought this might be a helpful book for potential clients. I had no idea how much I would identify with much of the material. It was powerful to read the author’s words and be validated through our shared experiences: denying our emotions, stuffing them down, trying with all our might to overcome but falling short, and the immense feelings of shame that accompany mental illness. I’d argue that religion is a way to channel mental I am currently training to be a marriage and family counselor and thought this might be a helpful book for potential clients. I had no idea how much I would identify with much of the material. It was powerful to read the author’s words and be validated through our shared experiences: denying our emotions, stuffing them down, trying with all our might to overcome but falling short, and the immense feelings of shame that accompany mental illness. I’d argue that religion is a way to channel mental illness-to direct the negative emotions and give us reasons to hold onto them (I’m a sinner and should feel guilt, condemning the flesh, denying oneself of pleasures, etc) that make it seem like one is pious when in reality they are suffering and not fully living. There were many times that I finished a section and felt I was understood, and was simultaneously sad that someone else understood my experience-because it was a really crappy experience. I appreciate the content warnings and how the subject matter was treated delicately, with immense amounts of grace. It is evident the author’s motivation is to provide help for those walking through depression, anxiety, suicidality, and self-injurious behaviors. I did not read this as a self help book written by an authority figure, but rather a guide/memoir. It didn’t have the feel of “do this and you will feel better!!”, rather it was more of a “this is what I’ve been through, this is what I wish I’d known” book. I would recommend it to a person of the Christian faith-it is full of scriptures to help the individual and guidance of what to look for when seeking help through medication and/or therapy. The author also references evidence based practices and research to support her claims, which I deeply respect. I would also suggest what the author suggests: take what helps, leave what doesn’t, skip what you don’t feel ready to read. I received an ARC of this book courtesy of the publisher through NetGalley. The opinions are my own.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Janice

    Robinson narrates her story of depression, self-harm, and suicidal ideations with vulnerability and a painful truth—Christians wrestle with depression. This statement: “I am not disappointed in you” was spoken to her by a supportive friend and it anchors the totality of the mission of her book as being a “compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days.” However, this book is not just her sincere personal story and self-help book, but also a guide for how to help others who struggle with de Robinson narrates her story of depression, self-harm, and suicidal ideations with vulnerability and a painful truth—Christians wrestle with depression. This statement: “I am not disappointed in you” was spoken to her by a supportive friend and it anchors the totality of the mission of her book as being a “compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days.” However, this book is not just her sincere personal story and self-help book, but also a guide for how to help others who struggle with depression. While I do not share her brand of faith and believe some of her ideas to be unbiblical, I found many of her suggestions valuable. Aside from creating a support team, one of my favorites was to “put plans in place for the bad days.” I appreciate that she is bringing to light the difficult, upsetting, and substantial truth about the universal and extensive reality of mental health issues that have for years baffled and plagued clueless faith leaders.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Space Welch

    Sarah writes with honesty, transparency, and bouyancy. I never imagined someone could write about something so sinister, yet so drenched with hope and joy. She speaks of the darkest side of emotions, even invites us into painful corners of her story, all the while guiding us to look up to Redemption, and giving us tools to help us navigate along the path. She reminds us that suffering demands both compassion, care, and likewise can be tremendously purposeful and holy. Sarah is a master at her tr Sarah writes with honesty, transparency, and bouyancy. I never imagined someone could write about something so sinister, yet so drenched with hope and joy. She speaks of the darkest side of emotions, even invites us into painful corners of her story, all the while guiding us to look up to Redemption, and giving us tools to help us navigate along the path. She reminds us that suffering demands both compassion, care, and likewise can be tremendously purposeful and holy. Sarah is a master at her trade, and I am forever grateful for this resource. I have and will continue to refer friends to the wisdom of this book.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Kate Rittman

    Sarah is so relatable and explains things I’ve felt but never knew how to put into words. I felt understood and comforted. 10/10 highly recommend this book!

  15. 4 out of 5

    Danielle Turko

    I received this book as part of a launch team. Some people can think that Christian's have it all. If they love Jesus enough they won't ever get sick, will always be happy, will never struggle, and have everything work out in their favour. But as any Christian will tell you, that simply isn't true. The truth is that being a Christian doesn't mean you will never be sick or depressed. Depression can hit anyone, as Sarah Robinson discovered. When she became a Christian as a teen, she thought that wa I received this book as part of a launch team. Some people can think that Christian's have it all. If they love Jesus enough they won't ever get sick, will always be happy, will never struggle, and have everything work out in their favour. But as any Christian will tell you, that simply isn't true. The truth is that being a Christian doesn't mean you will never be sick or depressed. Depression can hit anyone, as Sarah Robinson discovered. When she became a Christian as a teen, she thought that was the end of her depression. When she still felt the sadness, and thoughts of suicide and self harm are still creeping into her mind, she thinks she's not being a good Christian. Obviously if she prayed a little harder, or attended Church a little more, God would hear her and take away those feelings. It was years of counselling and help from her friends that finally helped her see it wasn't her fault, and that there are ways to help ease the darkness, even if it never fully goes away. As someone who has never dealt with depression personally, I have to admit that at one point I didn't understand how anyone would want to kill themselves. I thought that there wasn't a reason for somebody to feel like tomorrow wouldn't be better. That thought process changed a few years ago when I watched 13 reasons why. While I wouldn't recommend people with mental health issues watch that show, it opened my eyes to what someone might go through and why tomorrow might not be soon enough for a better day. I grew up being taught that depression was a chemical imbalance in the brain so I never felt like it depended on whether you believed in God or not, since I have seen how God sometimes heals and other times doesn't, and it's not up to me to know why or how He chooses to heal. This book does give what I would say is a very honest view of it from a Christian's standpoint of what it feels like to be depressed but be a Christian which makes people think you should always be happy. She is also very clear in the book as to what sections of the book highlight her self harm and depression thoughts that may be harmful to people who suffer from mental health issues and recommends when to avoid those sections for your own safety. All in all, I would recommend this book for anybody who is currently suffering from depression, or people like me who know people who are suffering from depression and want to know how to help. If we are being honest, I believe that means everyone should read this. While not everyone is honest with their thoughts of depression because of the stigma surrounding mental health issues, I believe that at least one person in your circle has experienced depression, so reading this may help you recognize it sooner, or give you the tools you need to help them if they open up to you. I remember how shocked I was hearing about Robin Williams, a man who was so funny I never would have dreamed he could not feel happy himself. Hopefully this book will help prevent anymore deaths like his.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Sarah Poling

    I have walked with many who struggle with severe depression, I have parented a suicidal child, I know that mental health struggles exist even in people who have a deep and strong faith. So when I saw this book available as a launch team option, I knew I wanted to read a believer's perspective on a very real struggle. I am encouraged by this book that the author reveals her real experiences, sharing the extreme examples of her self-harm, and suicidal tendencies in a different style and font, so th I have walked with many who struggle with severe depression, I have parented a suicidal child, I know that mental health struggles exist even in people who have a deep and strong faith. So when I saw this book available as a launch team option, I knew I wanted to read a believer's perspective on a very real struggle. I am encouraged by this book that the author reveals her real experiences, sharing the extreme examples of her self-harm, and suicidal tendencies in a different style and font, so that if you might be triggered you can skip that section and the details that don't need to be glorified of how extreme her behaviors and actions were when her brain was unbalanced and she was deeply depressed. I've read lots of research on trauma, on how our brains work, and how how to help heal those who have endured trauma, and have found that the proven strategies that are found to work, are founded in unconditional love, support, relationship, and connection. But depression and anxiety can't all be managed with other people supporting and loving you, sometimes there is a need for medication and other strategies to help the brain function and the author reminds us of that, as well as how shame impacts our own self-talk and beliefs about who we are. She references well-known research in the field. In this book, Sarah Robinson shares her experiences with those who lacked knowledge and awareness of mental illness, and their platitudes that hurt, but the love and acceptance that was real, and overarching. She shares scripture throughout her story and truths to help recognize how God feels about the human beings He created. I appreciated her input on neuroplasticity, that as we "rewire our perceptions of God to better line up with the truth of who He is." It makes so much sense and fits with all I have learned about how we can re-wire a brain through real relationship, which is exactly what I have experienced as I've grown to know God personally. I have found this book an excellent resource to inform my practice and draw closer to God, and a healthy mindset focusing on the fact that He created me and calls me "Beloved." I have found this book to be something I can recommend to others struggling with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. I think this book would be excellent for leaders in the local church to read and learn how to be most effective when someone struggling with issues like these, seeks out their love, support, and help. Thankful to partner with Waterbrook Publishing and read an advance copy.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Abigail Westbrook

    My primary disappointment with the book (and thus the 4-star rating) is that the author completely missed her chance to share a true gospel message when she wrote of her own journey to faith. She could have given a powerful presentation of how Jesus’ incredible love brought Him to earth to voluntarily take the punishment for our sins, and how all we have to do is turn to Him in repentance and acknowledgment of this amazing gift. Instead, this was glossed over with the account of an emotional exp My primary disappointment with the book (and thus the 4-star rating) is that the author completely missed her chance to share a true gospel message when she wrote of her own journey to faith. She could have given a powerful presentation of how Jesus’ incredible love brought Him to earth to voluntarily take the punishment for our sins, and how all we have to do is turn to Him in repentance and acknowledgment of this amazing gift. Instead, this was glossed over with the account of an emotional experience the author had, and a description of “the heady days after I became a Christian.” I really appreciated all the scripture included through the rest of the book, but this is an unfortunate omission, especially considering the intended audience for a book like this. A personal realization and acceptance of Christ’s work on the cross is absolutely foundational for any spiritual/mental healing. However, for those who have a solid gospel grounding already, this book does offer a lot of insightful thoughts. I don’t agree with every viewpoint or suggestion (clearly the author is less conservative than I am), but there were still many sections I wanted to highlight and savor. The author speaks from a place of great compassion since she has also walked this road (and still is). I appreciated all the very practical ideas for finding a therapist, implementing genuine self care, re-learning how to read the Bible and pray after spiritual abuse, and more. This is advice I wish I’d had many years ago. The book would also be a very helpful resource for those walking with a loved one through depression.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Sheila

    I read this book for a couple of reasons. One, I had OCD for nearly 30 years; I had some depressive episodes along the way. Two years ago I was set free! Additionally, I know people who struggle with depression as I am a teacher. Being curious, I wanted to see how the author approached the topic. There were things I identified with either for myself or on behalf of others. The author is very good at relating to the reader and expressing the heartache of what she has and continues to go through. I read this book for a couple of reasons. One, I had OCD for nearly 30 years; I had some depressive episodes along the way. Two years ago I was set free! Additionally, I know people who struggle with depression as I am a teacher. Being curious, I wanted to see how the author approached the topic. There were things I identified with either for myself or on behalf of others. The author is very good at relating to the reader and expressing the heartache of what she has and continues to go through. There are many things that are helpful to the reader such as meditating on Scripture, waiting on the Lord to show passages or verses that are specifically helpful to us, and believing that the Lord loves us (He created us). However, there were things that also made an appearance into the book that are not Christian and are clearly anti-Christian such as mindfulness, yoga, and making the following statements about God in her notes section in the back: "God is much more than male; after all, he is spirit and doesn't possess a gendered body. Scripture is full of beautiful, feminine descriptions of God." Jesus Christ is certainly not female and God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are all One. The note correlates to this at the beginning of the book: "For that reason, and many others, assigning a gender to the God who created both male and female as equal image bearers is uncomfortable for many. That said, I've chosen to speak about God in traditional ways, including masculine pronouns, though I acknowledge that may be difficult for believers with different backgrounds and faith experiences. I've done this because it is most familiar to the majority of my readers as well as me. If this is foreign or strange to you, please keep in mind that all our little words are simply signposts pointing to a God whose fullness defies description." There are things that can be helpful in the book, but there are things that are not Biblical. Please just be aware if you read this book. I voluntarily received a complimentary copy from WaterBrook and Multnomah. All opinions and thoughts are my own.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Kara

    My first reaction is “what a blessing.” I do not personally have severe mental health struggles, but I have people in my life that do. I ordered this book to better understand where they are coming from. First, I always welcome hearing a first hand viewpoint on a discussed issue. Sarah provides this. Second, through her words, Sarah speaks to the emotional, spiritual, physical, and practical impact of depression. She doesn’t hold back, and her honesty and vulnerability is welcomed and appreciate My first reaction is “what a blessing.” I do not personally have severe mental health struggles, but I have people in my life that do. I ordered this book to better understand where they are coming from. First, I always welcome hearing a first hand viewpoint on a discussed issue. Sarah provides this. Second, through her words, Sarah speaks to the emotional, spiritual, physical, and practical impact of depression. She doesn’t hold back, and her honesty and vulnerability is welcomed and appreciated. I appreciate her doing all of this through her personal lens as a Christian. Christians aren’t immune to struggles on mental health. She gets into the practical side by discussing medication, its role/place, therapy and their different styles, then both internal and external modes of management. It is a book I’m buying and sharing, and will recommend to others who struggle or walk alongside others who struggle.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Ruth Chowdhury

    From the very beginning of “I Love Jesus But I Want to Die”, Sarah Robinson reassures readers they are not broken beyond repair. Whereas people within the church can see depression and anxiety as something the person has caused by not “following God closely enough”, the author explains how this just isn’t true. She walks the reader through her own life and the struggles she faced and still faces and allows for the reader to be encouraged by her words. I appreciate the content/trigger warnings, t From the very beginning of “I Love Jesus But I Want to Die”, Sarah Robinson reassures readers they are not broken beyond repair. Whereas people within the church can see depression and anxiety as something the person has caused by not “following God closely enough”, the author explains how this just isn’t true. She walks the reader through her own life and the struggles she faced and still faces and allows for the reader to be encouraged by her words. I appreciate the content/trigger warnings, the additional resources in the back, and the relatable message. As the name suggests, this book is written for those who identify as Christians and may not be as applicable to those who don’t, so I would highly recommend this book to any Christian who has struggled with depression, anxiety, trauma, or any other mental health disorder, as well as anyone who may need to learn about how to help and/or comfort someone they know who may fall into any of those categories.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Notes from the Hollow

    As soon as I read Sarah’s note that my, the reader’s, safety is more important than finishing the book I knew this wasn’t going to be like any other book. The pages are full of grace, vulnerability, and validation for both fellow suffers and those who love them. Sarah guides the reader through her mental health struggles sharing profound insight she’s collected along the way. In some ways our stories are similar, but in a lot of ways they’re different. She is quick to acknowledge those differenc As soon as I read Sarah’s note that my, the reader’s, safety is more important than finishing the book I knew this wasn’t going to be like any other book. The pages are full of grace, vulnerability, and validation for both fellow suffers and those who love them. Sarah guides the reader through her mental health struggles sharing profound insight she’s collected along the way. In some ways our stories are similar, but in a lot of ways they’re different. She is quick to acknowledge those differences and there’s this magic in the way she shares her pain and heart that makes me feel like there’s space for my pain (and others) alongside hers. Part three was my least favorite, as my own unresolved story came bubbling to the surface. It took me a long time to get through, but I kept reminding myself of Sarah’s wisdom to take care of myself first. I mention this because I imagine that many readers will have a similar moment. This book isn't a solution. It's a companion for the journey, whether that journey lasts a season or a lifetime. I know this book will have a permanent spot on my bookshelf for years to come. Finally, if you are someone who doesn’t relate to the title I still highly recommend reading it. Not only is there wisdom for all seasons in its pages, chances are there is someone in your life who loves Jesus but wants to die. I received this book from the publisher through their book launch program and was not required to write a positive review.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Andrea Nyberg

    I wish I'd had a book like this when I was battling the darkness of depression. Sarah is gentle, honest and thorough in her culmination of personal experience and research on mental illness. She offers grace to those who didn't understand what she was going through while sharing a plethora of tangible tools on how to walk through depression personally or alongside a loved one or friend who's struggling. Written to be read either front to back or topically, there is much repetition of relapse over I wish I'd had a book like this when I was battling the darkness of depression. Sarah is gentle, honest and thorough in her culmination of personal experience and research on mental illness. She offers grace to those who didn't understand what she was going through while sharing a plethora of tangible tools on how to walk through depression personally or alongside a loved one or friend who's struggling. Written to be read either front to back or topically, there is much repetition of relapse over several chapters. While this may be difficult for some, Sarah's vulnerability in recounting her non-linear healing journey is real and relatable. When the darkness just doesn't go away, we need to know we're not alone, and Sarah is a safe friend to sit with in the pain. She thoughtfully added "trigger warnings" allowing readers to skip detailed sections that could cause more hurt than help at this step in their journey. I highly recommend this book for both those who are struggling and those who love someone who's struggling through the darkness of depression. Sarah poured her heart, mind and soul into the hard work of helping us better understand this disease with a clear line in the sand that we are neither immune to depression because we love Jesus nor is a lack of faith in the Jesus the cause of depression.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Marie Pinkham

    It's not always easy to admit you suffer with depression. As a Christian it can sometimes be even harder. How can a person of faith admit to feeling down about life? But many of us have been there. And so has this author. This book is like sitting down with a friend, hearing all the things you've wanted to talk about but have been afraid to say out loud. The author is open, honest, and dares to make herself vulnerable, and to say, "Me too, I've been there and I've felt all those things you're fe It's not always easy to admit you suffer with depression. As a Christian it can sometimes be even harder. How can a person of faith admit to feeling down about life? But many of us have been there. And so has this author. This book is like sitting down with a friend, hearing all the things you've wanted to talk about but have been afraid to say out loud. The author is open, honest, and dares to make herself vulnerable, and to say, "Me too, I've been there and I've felt all those things you're feeling." And maybe that will help readers to be honest and reach out to seek wisdom and understanding in their situation. It took a very short time into this book to realize I wished it was one I'd had years ago, back when it was really frowned upon to admit to suffering with depression. I hope people will read this and realize its like other diseases that can be treated successfully. Its not always an easy process. And the author doesn't offer solutions, only shares what she's been through in hopes it will help others. I received this book from the publishers as part of a launch team. These are my own honest thoughts and opinions. I highly recommend this book if you or someone you love deals with depression.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Sarah E.

    If you’re a Christian who struggles with depression, Sarah Robinson wrote this book to let you know you are not alone. If you’ve often been told to deepen your faith to conquer your depression and that didn’t work, this book is for you. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah gets raw and vulnerable sharing her own battle with depression. A topic that isn't spoken about much in Christian circles. A topic that makes those that struggle feel alone in their struggles. Sarah offers a guide to how If you’re a Christian who struggles with depression, Sarah Robinson wrote this book to let you know you are not alone. If you’ve often been told to deepen your faith to conquer your depression and that didn’t work, this book is for you. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah gets raw and vulnerable sharing her own battle with depression. A topic that isn't spoken about much in Christian circles. A topic that makes those that struggle feel alone in their struggles. Sarah offers a guide to how to seek help and speak up, even if you’ve felt unable to share with those around you, especially in the church. With Sarah’s help, get ready to see your walk with God in a fresh way that won’t leave you feeling ashamed of it because of your mental health. Trigger/content warnings are listed clearly for chapters that discuss delicate subjects. This book is also great for those that have a loved one with depression. The gift of insight into your loved one’s world when they may not share with you. Sarah has a thoughtful appendix on how to help your loved ones.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Tammy

    This book is a must read if you've experienced any level of depression, Jesus follower or not. However, those in the church may have their eyes opened to the danger of trying to pat someone on the back and tell the person they will pray for you as go through this little depression episode. This book hit on so many items I've gone through over the past 35 years, and unfortunately many in the church setting. Not that people didn't care, they had no idea that under the smiles was mountains of pain This book is a must read if you've experienced any level of depression, Jesus follower or not. However, those in the church may have their eyes opened to the danger of trying to pat someone on the back and tell the person they will pray for you as go through this little depression episode. This book hit on so many items I've gone through over the past 35 years, and unfortunately many in the church setting. Not that people didn't care, they had no idea that under the smiles was mountains of pain and sadness. You become afraid to share you're suffering. But they have no clue what to do or say and often don't understand that it will "go away with time." Hard book to read because of the raw truth, but such a blessing in the words and transparency of the author. If you have depression issues or love someone who does, get this book. Disclaimer: I received a digital copy of the book from the publisher, WaterBrook Multnomah with no expectation in return. The above words and opinions are my own.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Melissa Dunagan

    If you are someone who has struggled with mental illness or maybe you’ve walked along side someone who has than this book is for you. I Love Jesus, But I want to Die is breathtakingly raw, Sarah’s ability to open up about her experience is beautiful and brave. I feel that mental health has been a taboo topic in the churches for far too long. Sarah brings us into her world of suffering and hope: showing us that it’s okay to struggle with depression and that you’re not alone. You are not a disappo If you are someone who has struggled with mental illness or maybe you’ve walked along side someone who has than this book is for you. I Love Jesus, But I want to Die is breathtakingly raw, Sarah’s ability to open up about her experience is beautiful and brave. I feel that mental health has been a taboo topic in the churches for far too long. Sarah brings us into her world of suffering and hope: showing us that it’s okay to struggle with depression and that you’re not alone. You are not a disappointment and you are worthy. Absolutely a must read, I cannot thank Sarah enough for putting her story out there for all to hear, she is a blessing and I believe that this book is going to change a lot of lives.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Katie Crosby

    Every Christian needs this book as a resource. Suicidal ideation can be a scary, isolating experience, but having one friend who knows about it and can quell shame is powerful. I’m grateful to Sarah Robinson for sharing her story and for offering sound wisdom that is guided by Scripture and science. This book will surely save lives.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Shelby Veach

    This is likely the richest, most compassionate resource I’ve found on depression and suicidal ideation for the Christian soul. Practical, kind, but still challenging and deeply encouraging.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Kristyn DeNooyer

    This whole book was a big “I see you” from Jesus. Robinson speaks with wisdom, compassion, and the intricate knowledge of God’s heart that comes through deep and long-lasting suffering. She gives voice to so many of my laments, insight into so many misconceptions, and hope for the days of lingering darkness. Depression and suicidal ideal are hard conversation topics and even harder experiential realities, often kept in the dark even when the way to journeying with gentleness is to bring them to This whole book was a big “I see you” from Jesus. Robinson speaks with wisdom, compassion, and the intricate knowledge of God’s heart that comes through deep and long-lasting suffering. She gives voice to so many of my laments, insight into so many misconceptions, and hope for the days of lingering darkness. Depression and suicidal ideal are hard conversation topics and even harder experiential realities, often kept in the dark even when the way to journeying with gentleness is to bring them to light. I am thankful for this heartfelt resource and I pray it will equip the church to love more fully.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Lisa Oddo

    I love how Sarah shares her experiences, feelings, and support one may need. How to face obstacles, give self-care, recognize the needs of loved ones and more. She blends scripture with science offering equal balance to getting help one needs to battle depression. We all have our good and bad days. I love the tools given in order to get through those days. I highly recommend this book to everyone, whether you battle depression, love someone who does, or need encouragement. Sarah is very real and I love how Sarah shares her experiences, feelings, and support one may need. How to face obstacles, give self-care, recognize the needs of loved ones and more. She blends scripture with science offering equal balance to getting help one needs to battle depression. We all have our good and bad days. I love the tools given in order to get through those days. I highly recommend this book to everyone, whether you battle depression, love someone who does, or need encouragement. Sarah is very real and gentle. God loves us and we come to can come to him, just as we are for help.

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