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How to They/Them: A Visual Guide to Nonbinary Pronouns and the World of Gender Fluidity

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Ever wonder what nonbinary or gender nonconforming really mean? And how the heck do you use they/them pronouns for just one person? Isn't it supposed to be plural? This charming and disarming guide unpacks all these questions and more with a fun, visual approach. From a real-deal they/them-using genderqueer writer, this book makes it humorous and easy to learn so that every Ever wonder what nonbinary or gender nonconforming really mean? And how the heck do you use they/them pronouns for just one person? Isn't it supposed to be plural? This charming and disarming guide unpacks all these questions and more with a fun, visual approach. From a real-deal they/them-using genderqueer writer, this book makes it humorous and easy to learn so that everyone can get it. No soap boxes or divisive comment section wars here. Sometimes funny, sometimes serious, always human, this 101 primer is about more than just bathrooms and pronouns. It's about gender expression and the freedom to choose how to identify. While they might only be for some, that freedom is for everyone!


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Ever wonder what nonbinary or gender nonconforming really mean? And how the heck do you use they/them pronouns for just one person? Isn't it supposed to be plural? This charming and disarming guide unpacks all these questions and more with a fun, visual approach. From a real-deal they/them-using genderqueer writer, this book makes it humorous and easy to learn so that every Ever wonder what nonbinary or gender nonconforming really mean? And how the heck do you use they/them pronouns for just one person? Isn't it supposed to be plural? This charming and disarming guide unpacks all these questions and more with a fun, visual approach. From a real-deal they/them-using genderqueer writer, this book makes it humorous and easy to learn so that everyone can get it. No soap boxes or divisive comment section wars here. Sometimes funny, sometimes serious, always human, this 101 primer is about more than just bathrooms and pronouns. It's about gender expression and the freedom to choose how to identify. While they might only be for some, that freedom is for everyone!

30 review for How to They/Them: A Visual Guide to Nonbinary Pronouns and the World of Gender Fluidity

  1. 5 out of 5

    Paula (lovebookscl)

    (Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC) This book is amazing, educational, didactic and entertaining. Times change and these kinds of conversations become not only necessary, but something that should be mandatory. Changing our language and worldviews can be a slow process, but it has to start somewhere. This book is perfect for any audience and a must in your bookshelf. There are many things that I have to learn and I am sure that I will make many mistakes, but the important thing is to continue educat (Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC) This book is amazing, educational, didactic and entertaining. Times change and these kinds of conversations become not only necessary, but something that should be mandatory. Changing our language and worldviews can be a slow process, but it has to start somewhere. This book is perfect for any audience and a must in your bookshelf. There are many things that I have to learn and I am sure that I will make many mistakes, but the important thing is to continue educating myself and keep an open mind for this world so diverse and full of colors.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Eule Luftschloss

    5/5 for a job well done. This is a visual guide to the use of they/them pronouns and the spectrum of gender identities. That means that we have a complicated topic broken down in small and manageable chunks which are accompanied by illustrations and graphics to make understanding easier. This is not a graphic novel in the sense of having a plot that you can watch and read at the same time. I liked that the very first thing was a pronounciation guide for speaking them, because you know, the English 5/5 for a job well done. This is a visual guide to the use of they/them pronouns and the spectrum of gender identities. That means that we have a complicated topic broken down in small and manageable chunks which are accompanied by illustrations and graphics to make understanding easier. This is not a graphic novel in the sense of having a plot that you can watch and read at the same time. I liked that the very first thing was a pronounciation guide for speaking them, because you know, the English th sound is not found in every language and in my schooling was considered the mark of a top-grade pupil. When speaking to German native speakers in English, sink and think sound the same in many cases. After the introduction of the words we have an introduction of the author, Stuart, and their journey of self-discovery. In an academic text, this would be the "why the author thinks they have the knowledge and authority to speak on this topic", the introduction of the speaker. It's important. I came for a non-cis person speaking about this topic because some cis people tell me what they think if I want to hear it or not. The main part is divided in three: - theory (sex assigned at birth, gender identity, sexual orientation) - practise (what to answer upon grammatical questions or questions in general) - fun observations (queer history) and not so fun observations (things that suck) Since I am non binary and have had to do my research, this book told me only a few new things, like terms for non binary identities in different cultures. It's always fun to learn more! But I think that this is a great guide. It's aimed at: - enby peole seeking validation - curious people seeking a comprehensible explanation - teachers and parents who want to know how to approach this topic with children - professionals that have non binary clients - people who like doodles It feels very inclusive. The history clearly states that the gender binary as we know it is a recent thing white people invented and that became big. The author tells us that when in doubt, just ask. When you make a mistake, apologise and go on. Just try to do your best. Stuart even tells us that their view is that of a white westerner because that's what they are. So, if you're wondering now if you should give this a go, I'd say yes. If you're further wondering what my pronouns are: They/them. If you want to tell me your preferred pronouns, go on, I'll listen. I recieved a copy of this book in exchange for a honest review.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Bek MoonyReadsByStarlight

    3.75/5 Stars This has an incredible amount of useful information as a primer for folks who are not familiar with nonbinary people and they/them pronoun usage. I definitely do not want to disregard the fact that this information is important and well-articulated. They go into so much history, but not in a way that takes too long or goes into some less relevant areas (I know it can be hard to cut out things that feel important even though they're tangential!). I also think that the way they use the 3.75/5 Stars This has an incredible amount of useful information as a primer for folks who are not familiar with nonbinary people and they/them pronoun usage. I definitely do not want to disregard the fact that this information is important and well-articulated. They go into so much history, but not in a way that takes too long or goes into some less relevant areas (I know it can be hard to cut out things that feel important even though they're tangential!). I also think that the way they use their own experience works really well for the writing style that they have. It also makes the topic seem a lot less heavy, which can be really important for an intro book like this. However, I did have a couple of issues with the text. The main one was audience. The book is very informal and full of jokes and humor. I would assume that this would be more middle grade or on the younger side of YA. But, there is some information that seems geared towards adults (such as how to talk to kids about they/them pronouns and how to use gender neutral language in the workplace), as well as some sexual jokes that are toeing the line of inappropriate for the younger group that I assumed the book was for. I think that the humor would make it harder for adults to take seriously, which is a shame because the information is so important. A couple of smaller points: there are also a few times where they used "they" as a placeholder for "nonbinary" or "people who use they" which might be confusing for some people, and I would have liked to see some acknowledgement that some nonbinary people use "she" or "he" a bit earlier on (it is mentioned but only once and a decent way through the book). All of that being said, I still think this book is a great resource. I would recommend it, probably for teens and parents. I know I critiqued the fact that I was unclear about the audience, but the way that it ended up being written lends itself well to a parent/child buddy read, which is really great. I was given an ARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

  4. 5 out of 5

    Carol Flores

    4.5/5 It’s important that we know how to be inclusive not only by our actions, but with the way we communicate with other people. This graphic novel explains in charming way how we can use they/them pronouns for non-binary folks and other people who might not found he/she accurate as their identity. I happen to share the same vision as the writer: we should try our hardest to make this world a better, safer place for younger generations that don’t fit into the mold. We should constantly educate ou 4.5/5 It’s important that we know how to be inclusive not only by our actions, but with the way we communicate with other people. This graphic novel explains in charming way how we can use they/them pronouns for non-binary folks and other people who might not found he/she accurate as their identity. I happen to share the same vision as the writer: we should try our hardest to make this world a better, safer place for younger generations that don’t fit into the mold. We should constantly educate ourselves because language, gender identity, gender fluidity and life in itself are always evolving. What worked 50 years ago might be the opposite of what we need right now. So we have to stay with our eyes and hearts open. That being said, to me the art style + the prose work perfectly because it feels like you’re just talking to a friend, and at the same time, it’s being informative. It explains a lot of terms that we often see in LGBTQ+ books and the way it addresses them is absolutely respectful. I’m really happy to see that more queer authors are getting the attention they need and I’m glad I got the chance to read this book right now! I would totally recommend you to pick this up it you’re an ally but also, if you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community. I received and ARC in exchange for an honest review via NetGalley.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Alexx

    THIS BOOK WAS AMAZING. SUCH A DELIGHTFUL READ. I wish this book was being taught at schools. It's enlightening, funny, and above all, significant. This book teaches us many, many things including: - understanding gender fluidity - explaining the difference of sex, gender identity, gender expression, sexuality, and more - understanding how to support non-binary and genderqueer - gender identity in other cultures and parts of the world - AND SO MUCH MORE. Gosh, this book is so precious. Everyone should THIS BOOK WAS AMAZING. SUCH A DELIGHTFUL READ. I wish this book was being taught at schools. It's enlightening, funny, and above all, significant. This book teaches us many, many things including: - understanding gender fluidity - explaining the difference of sex, gender identity, gender expression, sexuality, and more - understanding how to support non-binary and genderqueer - gender identity in other cultures and parts of the world - AND SO MUCH MORE. Gosh, this book is so precious. Everyone should be reading this, most especially straight and cisgender people. And of course, kudos to the author and the illustrator! You made this book memorable. Everyone please pre-order this, you won't regret it! (I received an e-arc of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you so much Sasquatch Books!) Find me elsewhere: Blog | Instagram | Twitter

  6. 4 out of 5

    Erin || erins_library

    (Review copy provided by netgalley) I found this to be an excellent and important guide for anyone who wants to learn more about pronouns and gender identity. It’s really accessible in how straightforward it is, tackles it all with humor and how visual it is. I think it also works as a good reference book to just have on hand. It’s also a very quick read. I can’t recommend it enough. The eARC had some formatting issues that had jumbled up some of the text, but I got the idea of what the author ha (Review copy provided by netgalley) I found this to be an excellent and important guide for anyone who wants to learn more about pronouns and gender identity. It’s really accessible in how straightforward it is, tackles it all with humor and how visual it is. I think it also works as a good reference book to just have on hand. It’s also a very quick read. I can’t recommend it enough. The eARC had some formatting issues that had jumbled up some of the text, but I got the idea of what the author had intended with the illustrations and visual aspect of it. And I think it will work really well in the final copy. I fully intend on buying myself a copy when it’s out!

  7. 4 out of 5

    Nostalgia Reader

    This was a great guide that is perfect for allys wanting to be more inclusive in their language as well as nonbinary+ people who want a guide that they can give to friends and family to help explain their pronouns and identity. It’s a quick read, but packs a lot of blunt info into it through faq’s, vignettes, and visuals (mainly of the doodled type). Getty focuses mainly on genders and the breaking of the binary system, how nonbinary folks come in literally all presentations, pronouns, and identi This was a great guide that is perfect for allys wanting to be more inclusive in their language as well as nonbinary+ people who want a guide that they can give to friends and family to help explain their pronouns and identity. It’s a quick read, but packs a lot of blunt info into it through faq’s, vignettes, and visuals (mainly of the doodled type). Getty focuses mainly on genders and the breaking of the binary system, how nonbinary folks come in literally all presentations, pronouns, and identities, and touches on how biological characteristics and sexual attraction are their own things not necessarily related to gender identity. Nonbinary had always confused me as an identity before because it has always seemed so broad but indecisive, but the way it was presented here made it a lot clearer to me. It’s not indecisive, it’s choosing not to adhere to the either/or of the gender binary which is a decision itself! While pronouns are just one part of an identity, it’s a vitally important part, as it’s almost like a second name for a person. When in doubt, ask politely, don’t assume, and make an effort. Grammar and language is always evolving, and this small evolution–a new definition of the words they & them–is something that can help a huge group of people feel seen and understood. Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with a free copy to review! (Cross posted on

  8. 5 out of 5

    Carlos Silva

    This is a wonderful book for anyone who wants to educate themselves on the concepts of gender fluidity. As a cis-man who uses he/his pronouns, and as someone whose first language attributes gender to nouns, adjectives et cetera, I find it interesting how English is majorly a neutral language, and I love how broad the idea of “they” can be because of it. The author tells us their own personal story with becoming they and walks us through different situations in which we can be more inclusive and, This is a wonderful book for anyone who wants to educate themselves on the concepts of gender fluidity. As a cis-man who uses he/his pronouns, and as someone whose first language attributes gender to nouns, adjectives et cetera, I find it interesting how English is majorly a neutral language, and I love how broad the idea of “they” can be because of it. The author tells us their own personal story with becoming they and walks us through different situations in which we can be more inclusive and, basically, not act like a jerk. I got a copy through NetGalley on Non-Binary Pride Day and it really warmed my heart – I picked it up right away. I was really grateful for the opportunity to read more about an ENBY experience ad educate myself. Also, the illustrations were amazing! I know that linguistic structures are hard for us to deconstruct the older we get, but after all, as my favorite quote from the book says: Language is constantly evolving. Are you?

  9. 5 out of 5

    M. [storme reads a lot]

    I am so happy this book exists. I want to buy it for everyone, and tell them to read it. I truly could not adore this book more than I do right now. It makes me so happy something like this exists. Why am I glad this exists? Because I am nonbinary and use they/them. And the normalize pronouns needs to be a thing by now. Like really, it is not that hard and no one is going to get hurt. You know? At least, I don’t think anyone will get hurt. But seriously, this is a handy little guide for those pe I am so happy this book exists. I want to buy it for everyone, and tell them to read it. I truly could not adore this book more than I do right now. It makes me so happy something like this exists. Why am I glad this exists? Because I am nonbinary and use they/them. And the normalize pronouns needs to be a thing by now. Like really, it is not that hard and no one is going to get hurt. You know? At least, I don’t think anyone will get hurt. But seriously, this is a handy little guide for those people who give the weird looks and say gender is this and that. No. NO. NO. Read this book and understand gender is fluid and people identify how they want to. And respecting their choices is what everyone should be doing at this point. Just respect people. It is not hard. Although this isn’t the ultimate guide and each person has a unique experience, this is a great starting point. Stuart, I am so glad you wrote this. It is awesome. The pictures also make it easier to read and have fun with as well. Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC. Al thoughts and opinions are my own.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Jaq

    Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for sending this to me! A little guide containing all the dos and don'ts of they/them. The writing style is fun and engaging, while still being very informative; the doodles and pictures really complete the experience. It may not contain new information if you're someone involved in the LGBT+ community, but it's a really helpful tool for people who are just now dipping their toes into this topic.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Giulia

    This Non-Fiction was everything I wanted it to be, but nothing more. In it Stuart Getty gives a nice introduction to the world of gender fluidity. They start from square one with the important information on the difference between “The Big Three”: Sex Assigned at Birth, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation. This was a good way to start because this differentiation is where the difficulties in understanding this entire concept usually originate. I thought, it was quite easy to follow because Ge This Non-Fiction was everything I wanted it to be, but nothing more. In it Stuart Getty gives a nice introduction to the world of gender fluidity. They start from square one with the important information on the difference between “The Big Three”: Sex Assigned at Birth, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation. This was a good way to start because this differentiation is where the difficulties in understanding this entire concept usually originate. I thought, it was quite easy to follow because Getty didn’t concern themself with going into too much detail at once. The pages are structured in a way that they don’t contain too much text and are accompanied by cute little illustrations that sometimes furthered the point and sometime just made me smile. In general, it kind of felt like a picture book for children and I was enjoying myself immensely reading it, even though sometimes the book felt a bit condescending (e.g. pretty much in the beginning it says: “Try it together now: T H + E Y. It’s literally that easy. For your mouth. But your brain – well, that’s a little harder. Don’t worry. I got you.”) Those who are picking up this book probably already want to educate themselves and being treated as if I was too dumb to even say the word “they” sort of peeved me. Anyway, Getty continues with a chapter about the grammar of using nonbinary pronouns, which was what I was most interested in, because I wasn’t too sure, in which way they were supposed to be used: Do you say “they is…” or “they are…”? Do you say “they looked at themself…” or “they looked at themselves…”? After reading this book those questions are definitely answered, so I’m glad I was given the chance to educate myself. After those general facts, in the last chapter Getty got into talking about some other “fun stuff (and some not-fun stuff)” like the history of the pronoun “they”, “things that suck for GNC folks” and some tips on what to do if someone is using the wrong pronouns etc. I liked that part as well, since it gives some practical advice on how to react if you get to know somebody from the queer community. So, like I said, the book did what I expected it to do – and it is really important that books like this exist to educate people in an easy and accessible way – but I didn’t always love its execution. Also, while the linguistic part of this was quite interesting, unfortunately my native language isn’t English, so that I’m not quite sure if I will ever get the chance to actually apply my knowledge. I’ll just have to do my best to transfer it to German.

  12. 4 out of 5

    iam

    A great guide from the basics to more complex matters all around they/them pronouns and the people who might use them. Find this review and more on the blog! I liked the way it was illustrated and formatted. There is not much text per page, and the illustrations are simple. Both often cross the lines of where one page ends and another begins, which created a great flow and made it very engaging. It was an easy and fast read because of that which was great. The writing fit that style. It was access A great guide from the basics to more complex matters all around they/them pronouns and the people who might use them. Find this review and more on the blog! I liked the way it was illustrated and formatted. There is not much text per page, and the illustrations are simple. Both often cross the lines of where one page ends and another begins, which created a great flow and made it very engaging. It was an easy and fast read because of that which was great. The writing fit that style. It was accessible not just from the way it started at the very basics, but also from the casuality of it and the humor it uses to ease you in. I did enjoy that humor, though I did find a couple jokes out of place, or maybe they just didn't hit the spot for me. I liked the clear line it drew between gender and sexuality, which is something a lot of people still sort of struggle with. My favourite thing was that it repeatedly emphasized that every person is different, and that the same label or term can mean different things, and that it's always important to ask, while also noting that not everyone wants to be asked. It was also good that the author referred to themself and their own experience a lot, to show they are not universal while at the same time providing concrete examples. I liked the focus on pronoun conversations, and how those can differ when you're talking to an adult versus talking to a kid, as well as that context and surrounding situation matters. It brought up things that I hadn't considered before. Overall the book was rather on the surface on the most topics though. I would have liked more in-depth advice and examples and such especially on gender neutral language and how to deal with coming out. Ultimately a great starter for both queer and non-queer people. I received an ARC and reviewed honestly and voluntarily.

  13. 4 out of 5

    SaraCat

    I first want to thank NetGalley and Sasquatch Books for giving me early, free access to this book in exchange for an honest review. This book is very accessible. By that I mean, explanations are concise and worded in easy to understand language, often accompanied by examples to make things more concrete and/or illustrations that help keep the tone of the book light. On one reading of "How to They/Them," anyone who is encountering many of the words in this book for the first time will probably not I first want to thank NetGalley and Sasquatch Books for giving me early, free access to this book in exchange for an honest review. This book is very accessible. By that I mean, explanations are concise and worded in easy to understand language, often accompanied by examples to make things more concrete and/or illustrations that help keep the tone of the book light. On one reading of "How to They/Them," anyone who is encountering many of the words in this book for the first time will probably not remember the nuanced differences between all of the words. However, the book is short enough and organized in such a way that readers will be able to go back and reread sections later without it feeling like a daunting task. While a lot of the book may feel like it is addressing people who don't know or understand people who chose 'they/them' as their pronouns, after reading to the end, it actually feels like it is for anyone who wants to know a bit more about not just the use of the singular 'they/them' pronouns but also some bits of history, encouragement to be you, and examples of how any and all of us can make changes to create a more accepting and comfortable world for others. Getty's compassion for others really comes through throughout the book and their humor makes the text so inviting that it almost feels like sitting down with a friend.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Harshpreet

    I have read so many books that talk about gender identity and pronouns and how to use them correctly, and it is needed. But most of the books complicate things so much that a person will leave books confused than having learnt anything. This book however flips everything, such a succinct and precise book. It tells you what it needs to. It doesn't dwell on definitions too much. It accepts that definitions will keep on changing so might one's gender identity and that's completely okay. As a person I have read so many books that talk about gender identity and pronouns and how to use them correctly, and it is needed. But most of the books complicate things so much that a person will leave books confused than having learnt anything. This book however flips everything, such a succinct and precise book. It tells you what it needs to. It doesn't dwell on definitions too much. It accepts that definitions will keep on changing so might one's gender identity and that's completely okay. As a person who identifies on the spectrum I really appreciated that specific approach: not everything is as this book might say. Things mean different to different people. Every queer person's experiences are different, so this book might mean something entirely different to someone else. Also, the language doesn't feel like the reader is being talked down to, it feels like talking to a friend. Can't wait till this book comes out on the shelves! Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for giving me the arc of this book

  15. 4 out of 5

    Alicia Bayer

    This is a lighthearted but very informative guide to everything you wanted to know about pronouns, gender fluidity and such but were afraid to ask. It's illustrated in black and white with lots of arrows, sketches and humor. The author is non-binary and tells their story along with background info on pronouns, FAQs and much more. I wasn't a big fan of the tone (it's sort of cutesy/funny in an almost condescending way) but it's good info. I know I had a ton of questions when this was new to me, a This is a lighthearted but very informative guide to everything you wanted to know about pronouns, gender fluidity and such but were afraid to ask. It's illustrated in black and white with lots of arrows, sketches and humor. The author is non-binary and tells their story along with background info on pronouns, FAQs and much more. I wasn't a big fan of the tone (it's sort of cutesy/funny in an almost condescending way) but it's good info. I know I had a ton of questions when this was new to me, and others in that boat will find most of the answers in this short but informative, helpful book. I read a temporary digital ARC of this book for review.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Karissa

    This short non-fiction guide to using they/them pronouns is accessible, fun to read, and highly informative. It has a combination of text and illustrations on almost every one of it's 237 pages. I enjoyed the visuals and the personal stories of the author, which are told with an easy-going and super likable tone. Some of the visuals are really informative: like the diagram of their coming out journey, or the pie chart of the most used neutral pronouns. And others are beautiful and poetic: like fl This short non-fiction guide to using they/them pronouns is accessible, fun to read, and highly informative. It has a combination of text and illustrations on almost every one of it's 237 pages. I enjoyed the visuals and the personal stories of the author, which are told with an easy-going and super likable tone. Some of the visuals are really informative: like the diagram of their coming out journey, or the pie chart of the most used neutral pronouns. And others are beautiful and poetic: like flowers growing out of each of the letters in the word "weird," or a page full of eyes. I would highly recommend this book for high school libraries and public libraries. And honestly, maybe this should be required reading for anyone who works with the public.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Eddie

    Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with a review copy. How to They/Them provides a brief history of gender neutral pronouns, people who use them, and provides advice for people who aren't familiar or comfortable with the usage of those pronouns. It also weaves in Stuart Getty's personal journey and experience with gender, which is handled very well because it doesn't take over the educational portions of the book but gives readers someone real to apply the concepts to. I think this book is c Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with a review copy. How to They/Them provides a brief history of gender neutral pronouns, people who use them, and provides advice for people who aren't familiar or comfortable with the usage of those pronouns. It also weaves in Stuart Getty's personal journey and experience with gender, which is handled very well because it doesn't take over the educational portions of the book but gives readers someone real to apply the concepts to. I think this book is cute, fun, and manages to explain a lot without really falling into condescending territory. The graphics add some levity and aren't too distracting. I think this is a relatively niche book, but that's totally okay! As a non-binary person going about my life, I've noticed that the majority of the people who can't quite get the hang of gender neutral pronouns are of an older generation. There are a lot of references, jokes, and slang used in this book that those people aren't going to get, so I probably wouldn't provide this as a resource for, say, my 90 year old grandfather. I would, however, give this to a peer who's maybe struggling a little bit to adjust to my pronouns. It seems geared towards people who really want to understand non-binary identities, people who are probably already on the way to that understanding and just need a bit of a push, and I think that this book is a pretty good recommendation for those people! It's also important to acknowledge that because it's a short book with lots of graphics, and because it has a personal story attached to it, it's not going to represent every non-binary identity or pronoun perfectly. Stuart does a good job of addressing this and gives their readers the basics in detail, and then slowly and subtly introduces concepts that might be a bit harder to wrap one's head around. This book can't be the ultimate guide to non-binary people or pronouns, but it's a pretty good start.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Em (Diversify Your Shelf)

    *I received this on Net Galley* Oh wow. This book is an UTTER DELIGHT! I make a note of trying to read the latest books on gender/sexuality that I come across so that I can do my best to create inclusive environments around me. And, admittedly, I was one of those people who initially were like "okay having your own pronouns is fine but why 'they' -- can't you just have a different one?" While it's been a couple years since this thought process, I wanted to learn more about singular they and the is *I received this on Net Galley* Oh wow. This book is an UTTER DELIGHT! I make a note of trying to read the latest books on gender/sexuality that I come across so that I can do my best to create inclusive environments around me. And, admittedly, I was one of those people who initially were like "okay having your own pronouns is fine but why 'they' -- can't you just have a different one?" While it's been a couple years since this thought process, I wanted to learn more about singular they and the issues that surround pronouns. "How to They/Them" is equal parts comedy and really valuable information! Stuart Getty is an amazing writer and I hope they (yes, Stuart uses they) write more like this! The illustrations done by Brooke Thyng mimic the text's meld of humour and important information. I was particularly taken by the TSA discussion-- many of the things Stuart had talked about I was fairly familiar with, but that the gender binary is actually part of the machines used in airports was something I was completely unaware of. Not surprised, but certainly unaware. I really appreciated the discussion of how gender is frequently a social construct and different cultures discuss gender differently and have different genders and sexualities. Stuart dedicates a couple pages explaining identities like Two-Spirited, and I really appreciate this. A wonderful book and a must-read for anyone who is queer or just trying to be less unintentionally oppressive!

  19. 5 out of 5

    Tarra

    How to They/Them: A Visual Guide to Nonbinary Pronouns and the World of Gender Fluidity is a gem of a book that is engaging and entertaining as it is important and insightful. I enjoyed the historical facts and personal anecdotes the author used throughout the book, as well as the line drawings to convey the such an important message in a lighthearted and accessible way, without being condescending or cutesy. I read this graphic novel / visual guide on my kindle, but I will definitely be buying i How to They/Them: A Visual Guide to Nonbinary Pronouns and the World of Gender Fluidity is a gem of a book that is engaging and entertaining as it is important and insightful. I enjoyed the historical facts and personal anecdotes the author used throughout the book, as well as the line drawings to convey the such an important message in a lighthearted and accessible way, without being condescending or cutesy. I read this graphic novel / visual guide on my kindle, but I will definitely be buying it in paper copy, because I think that format will do the illustrations justice and keep continuity of flow. This book / guide should be read by anyone who wants to learn to be a little more inclusive and supportive and to learn the differences between gender identity, gender expression, sex, and sexuality (among other topics). Thank you to NetGalley and Sasquatch Books for a copy of this book. The thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.

  20. 5 out of 5

    A

    I love guides like this one. It can be hard for non-binary people and trans people to explain to someone what it means to be non cisgender. Guides like this help relieve some of the burden that often lands on trans or non-binary people to teach others. It also makes it incredibly easy for cis people to learn something new. This guide had the perfect amount of humor sprinkled into the knowledge it was trying to teach. I loved that Stuart Getty started off with a personal experience because that ma I love guides like this one. It can be hard for non-binary people and trans people to explain to someone what it means to be non cisgender. Guides like this help relieve some of the burden that often lands on trans or non-binary people to teach others. It also makes it incredibly easy for cis people to learn something new. This guide had the perfect amount of humor sprinkled into the knowledge it was trying to teach. I loved that Stuart Getty started off with a personal experience because that makes it a little more captivating when you know there is someone real behind the story. I would definitely use this guide to help family and friends who want to learn or struggle with pronouns and other aspects of gender knowledge. I want to thank Netgalley andStuart Getty for granted my wish of this book!

  21. 4 out of 5

    Laura

    How to They/ Them is a book that covers the basics of gender, gender identity and how that intersects with language. If you know a lot about the topic it won't tell you anything new, but honestly its still worth it because this book is so funny. I spent half the time I was reading this book taking pictures of the pages because they made me laugh so much. I think that is a great book to give people who are interested in learning more about the non-binary/gender non conforming/ genderqueer identit How to They/ Them is a book that covers the basics of gender, gender identity and how that intersects with language. If you know a lot about the topic it won't tell you anything new, but honestly its still worth it because this book is so funny. I spent half the time I was reading this book taking pictures of the pages because they made me laugh so much. I think that is a great book to give people who are interested in learning more about the non-binary/gender non conforming/ genderqueer identities, but this is maybe not for people who don't want to listen anyway because they would likely get annoyed at the first couple (very funny) pages. If you have some spare time definitely check it out! Thanks to Netgalley and Sasquatch books for this book in exchange for an honest review.

  22. 5 out of 5

    ronnie

    I really enjoyed this book. I thought it was informative, fun, and a great way to explain to someone about they/them pronouns. However, there were a couple misses for me. For one, I wasn't sure who this was targeted at - young teens or adults. And another issue I had was that they didn't really explain that some nonbinary/trans people can ALSO use she/her and he/him pronouns until like mid-way through. I think it's an important distinction to make - that there are nonbinary/trans people comforta I really enjoyed this book. I thought it was informative, fun, and a great way to explain to someone about they/them pronouns. However, there were a couple misses for me. For one, I wasn't sure who this was targeted at - young teens or adults. And another issue I had was that they didn't really explain that some nonbinary/trans people can ALSO use she/her and he/him pronouns until like mid-way through. I think it's an important distinction to make - that there are nonbinary/trans people comfortable with binary pronouns. But over all, this book was a great resource and something I wish I could keep in my pocket to hand to people as a 101. I received this as an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Jeannette (hauntedburgerplant)

    How to They/Them is a great all-encompassing introductory guide to the pronouns they/them and who might use them. It also touches on the history of pronouns, explains different genders, and highlights some famous people today who use they/them pronouns. I loved this book. I'm non-binary and have recently started using they/them pronouns. This means a lot of the information in the book wasn't new to me, but it's great to have it all in one place as a future reference so I can advocate for myself. How to They/Them is a great all-encompassing introductory guide to the pronouns they/them and who might use them. It also touches on the history of pronouns, explains different genders, and highlights some famous people today who use they/them pronouns. I loved this book. I'm non-binary and have recently started using they/them pronouns. This means a lot of the information in the book wasn't new to me, but it's great to have it all in one place as a future reference so I can advocate for myself. And of course, it was nice to hear the author's experience. I especially appreciated the quote "Weird means growth is happening." Things felt (and still feel) weird as I figure(d) myself out, and it was nice to be reminded that despite how bad weird can feel, it means something good is happening.

  24. 4 out of 5

    ofrainbows / Janna

    are you ever unsure how to ask for someone's pronouns? do you feel like you don't know how to talk about someone, who uses they/them pronouns? this little guide will help you out! 4/5🌟: first of all, i'm glad that these kind of guides exist. i kinda wish they wouldn't have to, but it still is a great chance for people to educate themselves after all! i want to underline that this book was written by a person, who uses they/them pronouns, any other way would not have been okay! while i think the t are you ever unsure how to ask for someone's pronouns? do you feel like you don't know how to talk about someone, who uses they/them pronouns? this little guide will help you out! 4/5🌟: first of all, i'm glad that these kind of guides exist. i kinda wish they wouldn't have to, but it still is a great chance for people to educate themselves after all! i want to underline that this book was written by a person, who uses they/them pronouns, any other way would not have been okay! while i think the topic is super important, i didn't enjoy the tone of the book that much. it was too humourous for me. this is a very serious subject, people get disrespected and mistreated for being trans every day and a few funny lines here and there wouldn't have been a problem, but the tone in general just goes too far for me. the guidelines are very intervowen with the author's personal experience, which i, as a non-binary person, couldn't always relate to. i think it would have been best to rather stick to objective matters. one more thing that bothered me was that the author doesn't explain that not every non-binary person wants to be called the word "enby", i wish they would have included that! nevertheless, this might be a good introduction to some, who have no idea how to handle all things non-binary and pronouns! it is so worth reading, please educate yourself. thanks to netgalley i received an early digital access copy in exchange for an honest opinion.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Nerea

    This was very informative and a great way to educate ourselves on how to respect and support trans people. Definitely a must-read, I really hope this becomes a best-seller cause there's so much to learn still. Some parts were a bit confusing, but I blame the fact that I read an uncorrected proof copy and sometimes the letters were a bit all over the place. The main reason this is 4 stars and not 5 is cause I expected a bit more depth on certain parts that remained a bit too superficial, but overa This was very informative and a great way to educate ourselves on how to respect and support trans people. Definitely a must-read, I really hope this becomes a best-seller cause there's so much to learn still. Some parts were a bit confusing, but I blame the fact that I read an uncorrected proof copy and sometimes the letters were a bit all over the place. The main reason this is 4 stars and not 5 is cause I expected a bit more depth on certain parts that remained a bit too superficial, but overall I think this is a great book and I'm so glad I read it.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Freya Paardenvriend

    To they or not to they? This was not what I expected at all! I thought this was going to be an informative, maybe even a bit boring book, but just what I needed. It was everything I didn’t think it was going to be and more!!! It was so oringinal, funny, artistic and informative at the same time. I’m not going to say anything else because I wan’t everyone to be as pleasantly surprised by this one of a kind book, as I was! I learned everything I wanted and needed to learn and loved every second of i To they or not to they? This was not what I expected at all! I thought this was going to be an informative, maybe even a bit boring book, but just what I needed. It was everything I didn’t think it was going to be and more!!! It was so oringinal, funny, artistic and informative at the same time. I’m not going to say anything else because I wan’t everyone to be as pleasantly surprised by this one of a kind book, as I was! I learned everything I wanted and needed to learn and loved every second of it!

  27. 5 out of 5

    Sonali Dabade

    I love how informative, educational, and eye-opening this book is. The author's words are crisp and to the point while also being witty in places. They talk about a lot of important details related to non-binary pronouns, including descriptions of genders, identities, and non-conformation to both. It's an important book that I hope more people will read, especially if they're intent on learning.

  28. 5 out of 5

    R.J. Sorrento

    Fun and fresh visual guide to they/them, a brief history lesson, and ways to navigate the world and cope with difficulties for nonbinary or gender nonconforming people. I was distracted by the puns and jokes at times, but looking back it made this nonfiction resource more memorable if it had been dry and traditional. Highly recommend for anyone who uses they/them, are thinking about using they/them and who don’t use they/them...everyone should read this book. Thank you NetGalley and the publishe Fun and fresh visual guide to they/them, a brief history lesson, and ways to navigate the world and cope with difficulties for nonbinary or gender nonconforming people. I was distracted by the puns and jokes at times, but looking back it made this nonfiction resource more memorable if it had been dry and traditional. Highly recommend for anyone who uses they/them, are thinking about using they/them and who don’t use they/them...everyone should read this book. Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC in exchange for an honest review.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Emilie Willis

    will post my review tomorrow thank you to the publisher for providing me with an ARC through NetGalley

  30. 5 out of 5

    Katie

    I am so thankful I had the opportunity to review How to They/Them by Stuart Getty through NetGalley. If you are trying to educate yourself about them/they, this is an excellent resource. It was accessible and easy to understand. While the author even states that their opinions/advice are not going to be the same for everyone and apply in all situations, it is a good stating point. I also appreciated all the illustrations and the humor sprinkled in.

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