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That's What She Said: What Men Need to Know (and Women Need to Tell Them) about Working Together

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First things first: There will be no man shaming in That’s What She Said. A recent Harvard study found that corporate “diversity training” has actually made the gender gap worse—in part because it makes men feel demonized. Women, meanwhile, have been told closing the gender gap is up to them: they need to speak up, to be more confident, to demand to be paid what they’re wo First things first: There will be no man shaming in That’s What She Said. A recent Harvard study found that corporate “diversity training” has actually made the gender gap worse—in part because it makes men feel demonized. Women, meanwhile, have been told closing the gender gap is up to them: they need to speak up, to be more confident, to demand to be paid what they’re worth. They discuss these issues amongst themselves all the time.  What they don’t do is talk to men about it.  It’s time to end that disconnect. More people in leadership roles are genuinely trying to transform the way we work together, because there's abundant evidence that companies with more women in senior leadership perform better by virtually every measure. Yet despite good intentions, men often lack the tools they need, leading to fumbles, missteps, frustration and misunderstanding that continue to inflict real and lasting damage on women's careers. That's What She Said solves for that dilemma.  Filled with illuminating anecdotes, data from the most recent studies, and stories from Joanne Lipman’s own journey to the top of a male-dominated industry, it shows how we can win by reaching across the gender divide. What can the Enron scandal teach us about the way men and women communicate professionally? How does brain chemistry help explain men’s fear of women’s emotions at work? Why did Kimberly Clark have an all-male team of executives in charge of their Kotex tampon line? What can we learn from Iceland’s campaign to “feminize” an entire nation? That’s What She Said shows why empowering women as true equals is an essential goal for women and men—and offers a roadmap for getting there. That’s What She Said solves for: ·         The respect gap ·         Unconscious bias ·         Interruptions ·         The pay and promotion gap ·         Being heard ·         The motherhood penalty ·         “Bropropriation” and “mansplaining” ·         And more….      


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First things first: There will be no man shaming in That’s What She Said. A recent Harvard study found that corporate “diversity training” has actually made the gender gap worse—in part because it makes men feel demonized. Women, meanwhile, have been told closing the gender gap is up to them: they need to speak up, to be more confident, to demand to be paid what they’re wo First things first: There will be no man shaming in That’s What She Said. A recent Harvard study found that corporate “diversity training” has actually made the gender gap worse—in part because it makes men feel demonized. Women, meanwhile, have been told closing the gender gap is up to them: they need to speak up, to be more confident, to demand to be paid what they’re worth. They discuss these issues amongst themselves all the time.  What they don’t do is talk to men about it.  It’s time to end that disconnect. More people in leadership roles are genuinely trying to transform the way we work together, because there's abundant evidence that companies with more women in senior leadership perform better by virtually every measure. Yet despite good intentions, men often lack the tools they need, leading to fumbles, missteps, frustration and misunderstanding that continue to inflict real and lasting damage on women's careers. That's What She Said solves for that dilemma.  Filled with illuminating anecdotes, data from the most recent studies, and stories from Joanne Lipman’s own journey to the top of a male-dominated industry, it shows how we can win by reaching across the gender divide. What can the Enron scandal teach us about the way men and women communicate professionally? How does brain chemistry help explain men’s fear of women’s emotions at work? Why did Kimberly Clark have an all-male team of executives in charge of their Kotex tampon line? What can we learn from Iceland’s campaign to “feminize” an entire nation? That’s What She Said shows why empowering women as true equals is an essential goal for women and men—and offers a roadmap for getting there. That’s What She Said solves for: ·         The respect gap ·         Unconscious bias ·         Interruptions ·         The pay and promotion gap ·         Being heard ·         The motherhood penalty ·         “Bropropriation” and “mansplaining” ·         And more….      

30 review for That's What She Said: What Men Need to Know (and Women Need to Tell Them) about Working Together

  1. 4 out of 5

    Brad

    Wish there were more clear cut solutions. This is a great read and I’d encourage everyone, but particularly fellow males, to read it deeply and become an ally.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Sebastian Wocial

    "I'm glad we've begun to raise our daughters more like our sons, but it will never work until we raise our sons more like our daughters." ~ Gloria Steinem I wouldn't recommend as much as implore you to read this book. Part of solving any problem starts with awareness, even those as staggering as continuing gender inequality. Considering society's male-centric structures and widespread unconscious biases, significant progress still must be made. Lipman has created a brilliant piece of work support "I'm glad we've begun to raise our daughters more like our sons, but it will never work until we raise our sons more like our daughters." ~ Gloria Steinem I wouldn't recommend as much as implore you to read this book. Part of solving any problem starts with awareness, even those as staggering as continuing gender inequality. Considering society's male-centric structures and widespread unconscious biases, significant progress still must be made. Lipman has created a brilliant piece of work supported by a balance of anecdotal stories, personal examples, empirical evidence, the experiences of others, and deep research. While eye-opening and a reminder of the major changes that still need to take place, "That's What She Said" is filled with optimism for the future and guidance on how we move forward together to raise women up so we are all equal. Change won't come all at once, but Lipman shares initial things we can do to make sure we head in the right direction. Men need to do more, we need to be better advocates. We need to be part of the conversation and more comfortable speaking about gender. I can do more, I will do more, and I invite all of us to reach across the gender divide. After all, it's not a women's issue, it's a human issue.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Brian

    (4.0) Worth a lot more people reading and discussing. There's a lot of statement of the problem in this book, and I was a little worried that she wouldn't eventually get to the chapter on what to do about it. She's got a lot of things that we can do as individuals to help women in their careers. Kind of the other side of Lean In if you will. A lot of them are what we should already be working on: stopping interruptions, attributing ideas to the original speaker, encouraging more equal participati (4.0) Worth a lot more people reading and discussing. There's a lot of statement of the problem in this book, and I was a little worried that she wouldn't eventually get to the chapter on what to do about it. She's got a lot of things that we can do as individuals to help women in their careers. Kind of the other side of Lean In if you will. A lot of them are what we should already be working on: stopping interruptions, attributing ideas to the original speaker, encouraging more equal participation in meetings/discussions, taking parental leave (and companies making it equal for mothers and non-mothers). The area I hadn't thought nearly as much about is bringing women back into the workforce after working in the home for a number of years...particularly by helping them change careers or build new skills. There's a huge pool of intelligent women who could be great engineers and problem-solvers that we're missing out on....I know there are programs working to help this group of women, but I'm guessing they need a lot of help--if only to scale to help more women!

  4. 5 out of 5

    Cassandra

    I like this book. I would probably recommend it as a primer on the research and perspective on the topic of women and work, though I have some quibbles, it's generally a good recap of the studies and approaches. I was hoping to get more about "what men need to know" and how to engage men in ways that don't make them feel "guilty" or "beaten by a 2X4". I didn't feel there was much explicit advice on that front, besides 'the goals of diversity align with the goals of existing metrics of profit and I like this book. I would probably recommend it as a primer on the research and perspective on the topic of women and work, though I have some quibbles, it's generally a good recap of the studies and approaches. I was hoping to get more about "what men need to know" and how to engage men in ways that don't make them feel "guilty" or "beaten by a 2X4". I didn't feel there was much explicit advice on that front, besides 'the goals of diversity align with the goals of existing metrics of profit and success'. It did discuss how we've seen backlash on trainings and sometimes diversity training can be counterproductive. But, we don't really know the answer. All in all, an easy read, comprehensive on a number of topics, largely based on research. The interpretation of the research is generally good and in line with the data. The major issue I have is with the chapter on crying. That chapter just really didn't seem helpful and I'm not sure those studies are very good. I listened to the audiobook during my commute. It was a good alternative, since I'm not trying to look up the references. I've already read most of them.... except that one study at Carnegie Mellon on job ads. I know job ads are profiling people based on age, but sex too seemed crazy. But, so it is.

  5. 5 out of 5

    John

    I was more informed by reading this book. The examples and easy journalistic style seems common in business life books today. Much of what Lipman says is applicable to any class of workers who are not alpha-males; e.g. older workers, minorities, etc. She seems very focused on driven females who have expensive educations, college debt and live in high-cost of living cities. My takeaways are to be more cognizant when I may be interrupting others and building up those who may be timid or humble.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Nadine

    Probably more useful than “lean in” but still errs somewhat on the depressing details chapter after chapter on just how tough the realty for any woman daring to leave the home for the work place. A few good tips and interesting success stories of companies / business schools making a difference. Yes definitely women won’t make a difference on their own, they need male allies, supporters and sponsors.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Paula Fahey

    I am that one person who didn’t really love the book “Lean In”, so I thought I might feel the same, here. However, this book was much better for me. I agree that there is still a long way to go for all of us, but I like that this book doesn’t look for places to place the blame. Men aren’t the enemy and women don’t have to change...we need to work together to evolve some very hard-wired perceptions. We all need to challenge ourselves to open our minds, a bit, to how we value certain traits and st I am that one person who didn’t really love the book “Lean In”, so I thought I might feel the same, here. However, this book was much better for me. I agree that there is still a long way to go for all of us, but I like that this book doesn’t look for places to place the blame. Men aren’t the enemy and women don’t have to change...we need to work together to evolve some very hard-wired perceptions. We all need to challenge ourselves to open our minds, a bit, to how we value certain traits and styles and skills. I plan to put this on my calendar to reread, or at least revisit my highlighted sections, at least once every six months.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Alexandra

    great. everybody read. I found the advice valuable and not vilifying or preachy.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Glen

    Rating: 2.5 stars? I'm conflicted. It was 3 or 4-star valuable to me, but stars are "likes" and I didn't, like reading the first half of this book. Review: I was hoping for a stronger rooting in science: studies, graphs, trends, with proven-effective steps everyone can take to make a difference. This book felt more like the results of reading business publications, a year of searching the web, and the author’s experiences as a successful career woman and mother. Having no footnotes in the text, ins Rating: 2.5 stars? I'm conflicted. It was 3 or 4-star valuable to me, but stars are "likes" and I didn't, like reading the first half of this book. Review: I was hoping for a stronger rooting in science: studies, graphs, trends, with proven-effective steps everyone can take to make a difference. This book felt more like the results of reading business publications, a year of searching the web, and the author’s experiences as a successful career woman and mother. Having no footnotes in the text, instead listing them at the back with the page numbers allows for quicker reading, but when I had a question, it was difficult to match the footnotes to the text. This discouraged me from diging deeper. Worse, I felt some of the summaries were exaggerated for effect. For instance, in Chapter 5, pages 113-114: looking at someone’s breasts is not abuse. It can be disrespectful, unprofessional, creepy, or sophomoric. It’s wrong if you’re her boss, maybe an “abuse of power,” but it’s not sexual abuse. I feel like I’m nitpicking; it’s only one word. But it undermined my trust and made me question every other summary in the book. Some other summaries felt stretched thin, but that was the only one that hit the breaking point for me. There is a lot of good in here. Stories and descriptions of the barriers women actually face. Resistance against tearing down those barriers. A few steps for overcoming that resistance (like parental leave and blind auditions). Examples of everyone – including men - succeeding when women are included. The few, brief transgender perspectives were especially illuminating. There was even some good summaries of scientific studies (just not as much as I had hoped for, and sometimes hard to trust). Later chapters switched into more personal storytelling and I found them much easier reading. The stories of balancing a career with parenting were engaging. The author’s visit to Iceland - “The best place in the world to be a woman” - was fascinating and particularly well written. I’d like to see an entire book written about what white men have to gain from women and minorities competing fairly with them. "That's What She Said" had a few good examples, which I appreciated. Conclusion: It will be interesting to see how much I refer to this book over time. If you’re at all aware of women in the workforce, the amount of groundbreaking, actionable information fits in the 4 page “cheat sheet” at the end. I wish I’d read that at the beginning! That may sound scathing, but it would probably be true of any current book written on women in the workplace. The sad truth is that we don’t know much about gender and work, and we’re learning very slowly. We need more, better, and more creative research. As a society, we’re at a point where we generally understand the problem, but lack proven solutions. I think we need more people to share their experiences, and we all need to be willing to listen with open hearts and minds.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Sofia

    I like this book and so much way better than feminist book I've read before. First start reading to the title will suit on what Joanne fingered on. Between men and women could be more easier if they communicate well. From the very first page Lipman said that women have a difficult time talking about their own achievements and are viewed unfavorably when they do, it is called 'humility trap'. So the solutions she recommend based on her experience is congratulate to each achievements, focusing on I like this book and so much way better than feminist book I've read before. First start reading to the title will suit on what Joanne fingered on. Between men and women could be more easier if they communicate well. From the very first page Lipman said that women have a difficult time talking about their own achievements and are viewed unfavorably when they do, it is called 'humility trap'. So the solutions she recommend based on her experience is congratulate to each achievements, focusing on men colleagues. Until at the end of the chapter will talking not too far from this, which made me charge on excitement from the beginning of chapter (PS. I liked the way Lipman gives us reality perspective) and always ended boringness. Well, I guess Lipman will not wrong, it just as me, and thank you for giving the a reader like me Chat Sheet: tips and Takeaways for Men-and Women which contains summary.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Erin

    This book is definitely written more for men than for women so the first few chapters, I felt like I was not the audience for the book. There's a lot of information in here that I had run across in other places but I did like the way the information was presented. The personal stories used to illustrate the various points were apt. I think the best part of this book is the 4-page cheat sheet in the back that provides concrete strategies for moving the needle on gender equality in the workplace. This book is definitely written more for men than for women so the first few chapters, I felt like I was not the audience for the book. There's a lot of information in here that I had run across in other places but I did like the way the information was presented. The personal stories used to illustrate the various points were apt. I think the best part of this book is the 4-page cheat sheet in the back that provides concrete strategies for moving the needle on gender equality in the workplace. Every person who works with others (i.e. everyone) should have this printed out as a reference in their workplace.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Andrea

    Probably everyone should read this book. In the beginning I wasn't sold but I came around. It features really interesting research and also anecdotes. I didn't know about so many things I'd have thought I'd have heard of, for ex, Iceland post financial crisis. Wow Iceland! It was interesting to read about problems, agree with potential solutions, then read about what actually ended up happening when those solutions were tried. There's common sense abound but still a useful read for people who wa Probably everyone should read this book. In the beginning I wasn't sold but I came around. It features really interesting research and also anecdotes. I didn't know about so many things I'd have thought I'd have heard of, for ex, Iceland post financial crisis. Wow Iceland! It was interesting to read about problems, agree with potential solutions, then read about what actually ended up happening when those solutions were tried. There's common sense abound but still a useful read for people who want to be better advocates, allies, colleagues, bosses....basically anyone.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Katie Lo

    Highly recommend this book! Gender equality isn’t scary, complicated, or out to shame men. We just need to re-think how we look at and treat each other. Joanne Lipman shares lessons learned through interesting anecdotes from all sorts of workplaces and cultures, which makes her message relatable and clear. I urge everyone to read this book, whether you are a fisherman or a financier, regardless of your gender.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Tomy Wilkerson

    Definitely need to read this book again and to read it in hardcopy. What I will say though is that what I appreciated most about this book was it was what the subtitle claims to be. Rather than an insider conversation amongst women, it's an accessible book for men to look at women's issues. Lipman doesn't try to cast blame or make men seem like the enemy. She tells the truth, mentions what's complicated about some of the efforts to circumvent bias, but also offers solutions so that we (men) don' Definitely need to read this book again and to read it in hardcopy. What I will say though is that what I appreciated most about this book was it was what the subtitle claims to be. Rather than an insider conversation amongst women, it's an accessible book for men to look at women's issues. Lipman doesn't try to cast blame or make men seem like the enemy. She tells the truth, mentions what's complicated about some of the efforts to circumvent bias, but also offers solutions so that we (men) don't feel entirely helpless. Glad I gave it a listen.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Katie

    Well this made me equal parts furious and motivated. I was definitely inspired to be a woman boss at work yesterday after finishing reading this book & I did three things in one day I wouldn't otherwise have done. So reading this was probably a success. Well this made me equal parts furious and motivated. I was definitely inspired to be a woman boss at work yesterday after finishing reading this book & I did three things in one day I wouldn't otherwise have done. So reading this was probably a success.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Josh

    So I had really high hopes for this book. There's such a need for real conversation & depth of anlaysis on gender bias in workplace, hiring processes, and building institutional competencies in these regards. Unfortunately, this book felt like a retread of other similar books, both in scope and analysis. I don't disagree with most anything in this book. I just was hoping for greater depth in the arguments. There are a lot of assumptions based on slim evidence (or at least slimly presented). I thi So I had really high hopes for this book. There's such a need for real conversation & depth of anlaysis on gender bias in workplace, hiring processes, and building institutional competencies in these regards. Unfortunately, this book felt like a retread of other similar books, both in scope and analysis. I don't disagree with most anything in this book. I just was hoping for greater depth in the arguments. There are a lot of assumptions based on slim evidence (or at least slimly presented). I think the topic deserves so much better than the ole McKinsey 1-2-3 template. Ms. Lipman's writing seems rooted in large-scale corporations, from (and for) a mostly white perspective. That leaves out *a lot* of America, and the arguments end of feeling similarly narrow in scope. The book at times seems so deeply invested in narrow studies that it misses some of the bigger opportunities. For example, Ms. Lipman uses as an aside an anecdote about a 'Senior Google engineer who jury-rigged a solution' by sending out regular emails supporting women to nominate themselves for promotion. To me that's not jury-rigging - that's the start of a cultural change at the institution. And that's huge! Worth exploring more. I found one of the last chapters on Iceland's financial crisis (and the country's gender-focused response) to be totally fascinating, that was new to me. Also appreciated a passage on how better 'diversity training' becomes 'implicit bias training,' and a connected focus on positive conditioning rather than deficit orientations. Obviously my review is based on what I was looking for. I'm glad to see it's found a receptive audience and readership! The more of these books published the better.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Cyndie Courtney

    I feel like this book was trying to do two things: 1) Teach men what they need to know to be a good ally to women - the facts behind sexism and potentially effective strategies behind fighting it if they're willing, 2) Talk to women about effective and ineffective ways to talk to men to get them to be allies. Frankly I think in trying to do both it ended up being kind of confusing and not as effective as it could have been at either. If you are a woman looking to read this book - be forewarned i I feel like this book was trying to do two things: 1) Teach men what they need to know to be a good ally to women - the facts behind sexism and potentially effective strategies behind fighting it if they're willing, 2) Talk to women about effective and ineffective ways to talk to men to get them to be allies. Frankly I think in trying to do both it ended up being kind of confusing and not as effective as it could have been at either. If you are a woman looking to read this book - be forewarned it will spend a lot of the book depressingly rehashing (for the men supposedly interested in reading it) all the terrible things about our lives and how unfair things are (I mean they really are, but I'm so exhausted about hearing about it without solutions.) It's worth it to hang in there - or just skip to the end though because there are some compelling pieces of information about what might be helpful for men who are actually interested in helping us in the fight - namely how can they create their own groups to educate themselves and how can they fight implicit bias (and how can we talk about implicit bias) which tends to create less backlash against the type of diversity training that makes things worse. That being said - since the early part of the book spends so much time talking about how bad things are for women - and it also discusses about how even the mention of this makes a lot of guys just feel threatened and want to stop listening - I don't know how effective the book would truly be at getting men on board. Some good tidbits in here, but think it would have been better served as two separate books.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Douglas Ulrich

    I picked this booked up originally because in my day-to-day I don’t work with many women and I wanted a refresher on the differences in communications styles so that any interactions I do have will be that much more productive for all involved. I have found this book to be a great eye-opener for the current status of male/female equality in the workplace. Especially in my field, where there is a definite overload on the side of male input, this books makes me yearn for more women to work with fo I picked this booked up originally because in my day-to-day I don’t work with many women and I wanted a refresher on the differences in communications styles so that any interactions I do have will be that much more productive for all involved. I have found this book to be a great eye-opener for the current status of male/female equality in the workplace. Especially in my field, where there is a definite overload on the side of male input, this books makes me yearn for more women to work with for the difference of input they would bring. I will work to avoid interrupting women in conversations and speak up for them when they are interrupted. I will work on actively seeking their inputs and offer them opportunities they may not feel they are ready for yet. I will work to be the vocal proponent of the value women uniquely bring to the table. I recommend this book to everyone, but most especially to men. It is our unique role as men, for whom the business world has been traditionally built for, to help promote this equality. If not for the sake of equality itself, but for the businesses we work in to make them more informed and profitable. To help ourselves gain paid family leave, flexible work schedules, affordable child care, and just a good work-life balance. To help end the cycles of previous salary dictating the next salary. To help keep our companies from crashing in spectacular fashion because of over-hyped bravado leading the helm.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Ellen

    Read for a work book club. This was more satisfying than the last sort of book I read that falls in the "women at work" camp, Lean In, which was so narrowly focused on wealthy women getting ahead at work. This one is supposed to be targeted at men, and so at times was frustrating for me to read -- there's a lot in here that I know, and a lot of "women can't do this, but they can't do this either to fix that first thing" that made me want to scream. I'm not sure this will be approachable to men e Read for a work book club. This was more satisfying than the last sort of book I read that falls in the "women at work" camp, Lean In, which was so narrowly focused on wealthy women getting ahead at work. This one is supposed to be targeted at men, and so at times was frustrating for me to read -- there's a lot in here that I know, and a lot of "women can't do this, but they can't do this either to fix that first thing" that made me want to scream. I'm not sure this will be approachable to men either, though, although sometimes my frustrations were with what felt like pandering on Lipman's part. Anyway, it's not a bad read, and I appreciate that Lipman considers structural and societal issues rather than advising women to just not step back from their careers, not let themselves be interrupted, etc.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Andrea

    If you are a working woman, many of the examples in this book will sound familiar. Even if you haven't experienced them, you likely know someone who has. I liked the emphasis that gender equality will only happen if we all work together, however it's still frustrating to know that getting everyone on board is work in and of itself. The biggest take away I got from this read was to advocate for myself as I would for a female co-worker. But there are other concrete ideas too-- shut down interrupting If you are a working woman, many of the examples in this book will sound familiar. Even if you haven't experienced them, you likely know someone who has. I liked the emphasis that gender equality will only happen if we all work together, however it's still frustrating to know that getting everyone on board is work in and of itself. The biggest take away I got from this read was to advocate for myself as I would for a female co-worker. But there are other concrete ideas too-- shut down interrupting altogether, acknowledge your own biases and disrupt them, let the employee decide (ie, don't assume a woman won't take a promotion because she has young kids at home-- ask her and let her decide). This book serves as part of the piece of communication that needs to be happening in all companies. For some it's preaching to the choir, but for some it will be enlightening.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Casey

    Read this for a bookclub at work. Great discussions, but the book is just OK. Very anecdotal.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Lee Tyner

    VERY Good, But.... It’s the best Diversity / Gap book I’ve read to date. It appropriately acknowledges the failure of previous attempts that have made things worse. It also offers suggestions that work quite well such as simply telling someone “Hey, that’s not cool.” However, it ignores other competing data such as those presented in “Why Men Earn More.” In fact, her data has some of the exact faults presented in that book, nor does it respond to meta analysis studies (by female economists) that VERY Good, But.... It’s the best Diversity / Gap book I’ve read to date. It appropriately acknowledges the failure of previous attempts that have made things worse. It also offers suggestions that work quite well such as simply telling someone “Hey, that’s not cool.” However, it ignores other competing data such as those presented in “Why Men Earn More.” In fact, her data has some of the exact faults presented in that book, nor does it respond to meta analysis studies (by female economists) that provide data indicating the wage gap is not as severe as most media report. Although she opens by claiming it’s not a book on man shaming, to a moderate degree it is. Meanwhile, some of her solutions aren’t fully explored. “Government subsidized” sounds great to the consumer, but overlooks that consumers could better afford many things if citizens were taxed less. Perhaps the decision set of affordability (for both parents) should include things like: less debt, smaller homes, older cars, no cable, and eating at home. (But, her comparison between childcare and tuition is indeed profound.). Also, remember that wage increases for workers will increase the cost of living for consumers, which includes childcare. I do not advocate keeping wages low. Rather, that the book lacks macro level economic studies. Instead it often compares the US against countries that are not particularly comparable. It shares the #1 problem of many business books. It’s a 200+ page book that’s 300+ pages. Many chapters go on and on and on, ignoring the natural stopping point that is already present. Cut back on defending the chapter with more studies that belabor the point and instead answer questions of competing viewpoints. Even so, it’s still the best “ism” book I’ve read in a long time and have recommended to many people.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Manasvi Karanam

    3.5 This is a good book for anyone in general (but specifically to men) who want to know how gender bias plays out at a workplace. Each chapter of the book deals with a specific issue ranging from pay raise to unconscious bias and the author tries to illustrate the problem with good examples which are backed up with excellent statistics and data. The problems can be attributed to any male-centric workforce in general (definitely relevant to the tech industry which I belong to). I could relate wit 3.5 This is a good book for anyone in general (but specifically to men) who want to know how gender bias plays out at a workplace. Each chapter of the book deals with a specific issue ranging from pay raise to unconscious bias and the author tries to illustrate the problem with good examples which are backed up with excellent statistics and data. The problems can be attributed to any male-centric workforce in general (definitely relevant to the tech industry which I belong to). I could relate with this book a lot and though I have faced some situations mentioned in the book, I never attributed them to unconscious gender bias. So, yes, this book acts as a good mirror which helps you identify some of the problems with gender equality. However, it doesn't offer any ready-made solutions to the problems discussed in each chapter. The author sometimes has some suggestions but most of the time it is just pointing out at the problem. Though this can be a con, it might be too harsh for us to expect a simple "one formula fits all" solution from the author for such complex problems. Therefore, I strongly recommend to read this book in a book-club setting. That gives you an opportunity to hear others opinion/take on the problems being discussed and gives everyone a better insight while trying to devise a solution. Also, this book is very specific to gender issues related to workplace. Though some lessons can drawn which can be applicable to your personal life, it mainly focuses on the workplace. The book has a potential to bring out lot of good discussion and action items to actually fix some of these problems at workplace. Men, please read this book along with your female colleagues.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Alessandra

    I've been spending the last several months reading about gender inequality, what women and men can do to bridge the gap, and where these issues stem from. No book is perfect, and what I have found is that often in the negative reviews there is criticism that the author should have could have gone deeper on a topic that the specific reader saw as more significant. I also constantly see a dismissal of the author via comments that said write must be, is or has been privileged, and thus cannot possi I've been spending the last several months reading about gender inequality, what women and men can do to bridge the gap, and where these issues stem from. No book is perfect, and what I have found is that often in the negative reviews there is criticism that the author should have could have gone deeper on a topic that the specific reader saw as more significant. I also constantly see a dismissal of the author via comments that said write must be, is or has been privileged, and thus cannot possibly write well on the topic. I find it sad that in reviewing these works, readers are too often looking for what's missing before considering how a book serves a purpose or provides value to it's readers. With that said, Joanne Lipman's book is a great review of the research and findings on gender inequality, it's roots, and the many factors that promote and maintain it, even when men and women say they want to act against it. I did find a common thread throughout this book, which is that our chances of success in overcoming this gap will be greatly facilitated and accelerated if/when men become more comfortable talking about the issue and act as supporters and champions in forwarding this cause. This is not about pinning the problem on men, as our unconscious biases make all of us susceptible to acting against women and maintaining the existing bias. Before Lean In, before Womenomics or Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office, I'd recommend women interested in bridging the gender gap at work and at home read That's What She Said.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Patricia

    This is a very uncomfortable book. I found myself nearly weeping as I read the information carefully gathered and organized by Lipman, statistics on women being interrupted by men, women being disrespected by men, women earning less than men for doing the same job, women being dismissed by men, women not being considered for promotion who were better qualified than men (and more) . . . and just when things start getting better, when there are movements made toward greater gender equality, Trump This is a very uncomfortable book. I found myself nearly weeping as I read the information carefully gathered and organized by Lipman, statistics on women being interrupted by men, women being disrespected by men, women earning less than men for doing the same job, women being dismissed by men, women not being considered for promotion who were better qualified than men (and more) . . . and just when things start getting better, when there are movements made toward greater gender equality, Trump comes in and by executive order rolls back requirements to keep statistics on the hiring of women and on comparative salaries. Fortunately, Lipman sees hope for the future, mostly in the millennials and younger. He finds that because more males have been raised by working mothers, there is a greater sense of egalitarianism. I hope I live to see the day. There is a great chapter about Iceland, the boom and bust of the economy there and how the Viking-esque male population were critical in making the rapid change to an inclusionary culture where women now hold prime positions in banking, politics and law-making. I love that she identifies that this is not a female problem, but a problem for all of us, that business functions more efficiently, productively and makes more money when a mixed male / female team is making the decisions. She says we are all in this together, and it is going to take working together to effect lasting change. I just hope I live long enough to see it.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Annalisa Ely

    This feminist work is very gentle towards men and is optimal for gifting to men with sensitive feelings about being called out for their sexist behavior. In all seriousness, this book is statistics heavy while also being very accessible, and I recommend it to anyone who hasn't read much feminist theory or isn't convinced that sexism still exists, or anyone who would like statistics to back up what they already know. It focuses heavily on bringing men into the discussion and and fight for equalit This feminist work is very gentle towards men and is optimal for gifting to men with sensitive feelings about being called out for their sexist behavior. In all seriousness, this book is statistics heavy while also being very accessible, and I recommend it to anyone who hasn't read much feminist theory or isn't convinced that sexism still exists, or anyone who would like statistics to back up what they already know. It focuses heavily on bringing men into the discussion and and fight for equality, which of course includes being somewhat gentle and focusing on unconscious bias rather than purposeful degradation, but in turn it brings a number of strategies to the table that have started to be used to work towards equality. These strategies are discussed and it is shown how well they are working, while suggesting that the useful ones get used by more men in the wider world, as most of the strategies are only in place now in certain companies, colleges, or countries (Iceland is discussed in detail). I found the statistics and references to numerous scientific studies as well as data collected from various companies on their employees to be very helpful. The flow from what topic to another was also very smooth. A few times the author repeated herself a few chapters apart, going back and re-proving a point she had already made in an aside, but it wasn't too irritating and she got back to her new point fairly quickly.

  27. 4 out of 5

    aya

    "But the sad truth was that "gender blind" was just plain blind. we couldn't teach ourselves to be gender blind any more than we could teach ourselves to be taller. Perpetuating the fallacy only made things worse." [actual rating: 4.5] This book was one of the very first feminism books that I ever read, yet I have no trouble understanding the arguments and ideas presented by the author. The author did not use big words and always incorporated data from reliable sources to back their arguments. Now, "But the sad truth was that "gender blind" was just plain blind. we couldn't teach ourselves to be gender blind any more than we could teach ourselves to be taller. Perpetuating the fallacy only made things worse." [actual rating: 4.5] This book was one of the very first feminism books that I ever read, yet I have no trouble understanding the arguments and ideas presented by the author. The author did not use big words and always incorporated data from reliable sources to back their arguments. Now, despite the title gave away the impression that this book will discuss about gender inequality in workplace, which indeed being discussed inside, this book also discuss about women potential, how women are actually a little bit sexist, and other stuffs related to women empowerment. I don't necessarily recommend this book for people who just beginning to try to learn about feminism, but if you happen to stumble upon this book and read it before you read about other 'Introduction of Feminism' books, I assure you it's not a big deal.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Cavak

    Compared to the previous and older book I read about feminism and gender equality (Does Feminism Discriminate Against Men?: A Debate), Lipman is respectful to both genders without playing the blame game. It's comforting for me to know that we've made some progress since then in addressing gender in modern society. Most examples she cites are from a North American perspective, but a mix of other countries are included too. Hope you like the section about Iceland as much as I did. Lipman talks abo Compared to the previous and older book I read about feminism and gender equality (Does Feminism Discriminate Against Men?: A Debate), Lipman is respectful to both genders without playing the blame game. It's comforting for me to know that we've made some progress since then in addressing gender in modern society. Most examples she cites are from a North American perspective, but a mix of other countries are included too. Hope you like the section about Iceland as much as I did. Lipman talks about the staggering observations about how society views gender. How we all carry unconscious biases, how transgender people are treated after transitions to whatever gender they choose, and how we're all prone to interrupting more women than men. Even how diversity training from the '90s has drawn a greater line between the sexes. No side is exempt from it, even the ones who proclaim to be for women's rights and equal pay. But Lipman's episodes of biting irony makes the blows sink in without pessimism. There is a message of hope under it all. What is helpful to me is that she includes some practical tips that can be used in identifying these cues without resorting to antagonizing attitudes. The simple "cheat sheet" of proposed solutions included at the end of the book is directed towards business leaders, but I think it'd be helpful for anyone who wants to bridge the gender divide in a potentially productive and cooperative way. While Lipman and the people she has interviewed don't offer all of the answers, it did answer some of my questions regarding the gender gap. Keep a curious mind and a heart willing to absorb and listen; you may enjoy this book more. I received the book for free through Goodreads Giveaways.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Alisa

    Fascinating and illuminating book that EVERYONE, regardless of gender, industry or profession should read. While I found myself nodding in agreement frequently and occasionally shaking my head at some of the scenarios described, I also learned a lot about our unconscious biases and how challenging it is to create a truly "blind" hiring process. This is definitely NOT a male-bashing or shaming book. Rather, it's a very candid look at our work culture and how we got here. I was especially intrigue Fascinating and illuminating book that EVERYONE, regardless of gender, industry or profession should read. While I found myself nodding in agreement frequently and occasionally shaking my head at some of the scenarios described, I also learned a lot about our unconscious biases and how challenging it is to create a truly "blind" hiring process. This is definitely NOT a male-bashing or shaming book. Rather, it's a very candid look at our work culture and how we got here. I was especially intrigued with the many studies she discusses, and researchers she interviewed. While at times it paints a very discouraging picture, the book ends with some excellent action items that will help move things in the right direction. Above all, it's a very readable and engaging book. Not at all dry or academic. I think this book should be required reading for all high school and college students, before they enter the workforce.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Lucas

    This book covers a lot of the same ground as other books I've read like Lean In and Brotopia, but attacks it more from an angle about the need for more male advocacy and a rooting out of unconscious bias. It is a huge problem when a majority of people in a survey literally thought humanity would invent time travel before half the fortune 500 companies were run by women. Resolving some of these issues is very difficult as Lipman brings up, noting how bias training has been shown to sometimes incr This book covers a lot of the same ground as other books I've read like Lean In and Brotopia, but attacks it more from an angle about the need for more male advocacy and a rooting out of unconscious bias. It is a huge problem when a majority of people in a survey literally thought humanity would invent time travel before half the fortune 500 companies were run by women. Resolving some of these issues is very difficult as Lipman brings up, noting how bias training has been shown to sometimes increase bias more than reduce it. I agree with her central point that change has to come from both men and women pushing for it, and destigmatizing the idea of supporting gender equality. People have to advocate for each other in meetings when they see someone being interrupted or their ideas being taken credit for. The book is a good reminder of many of the aggressions going on and serves as a way to be more cognizant of them.

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