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The Threesome Handbook: Make the Most of Your Favorite Fantasy - the Ultimate Guide for Tri-Curious Singles and Couples

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A step-by-step guide to realizing the American dream, The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to Sleeping with Three is the first book to give tri-curious men and women the inside scoop on threesomes. Having finally slipped into the mainstream - on MTV, Boston Legal, Entourage, magazines, movies, and just about every respectable blog - sexuality historian and threesome d A step-by-step guide to realizing the American dream, The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to Sleeping with Three is the first book to give tri-curious men and women the inside scoop on threesomes. Having finally slipped into the mainstream - on MTV, Boston Legal, Entourage, magazines, movies, and just about every respectable blog - sexuality historian and threesome dabbler Victoria Vantoch offers practical and humorous advice on our most popular fantasy. Featured in The Threesome Handbook: - The perks of three: hotter sex, more love - Strategies to prevent freak-outs, jealousy, and general messiness - How to find the perfect third - Discovering your inner queer - When a ménage turns into love - how to create a successful triad relationship - Communication skills for couples - Knowing when to break it off - And much, much more. Drawing on personal experience, historical research, advice from pros, and hundreds of interviews with veteran and novice threesome adventurers, Vantoch covers the gamut of possibilities in threesome sex and triad relationships. The Threesome Handbook is the essential road map for couples and singles to explore new territory or just spice things up in the sack.


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A step-by-step guide to realizing the American dream, The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to Sleeping with Three is the first book to give tri-curious men and women the inside scoop on threesomes. Having finally slipped into the mainstream - on MTV, Boston Legal, Entourage, magazines, movies, and just about every respectable blog - sexuality historian and threesome d A step-by-step guide to realizing the American dream, The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to Sleeping with Three is the first book to give tri-curious men and women the inside scoop on threesomes. Having finally slipped into the mainstream - on MTV, Boston Legal, Entourage, magazines, movies, and just about every respectable blog - sexuality historian and threesome dabbler Victoria Vantoch offers practical and humorous advice on our most popular fantasy. Featured in The Threesome Handbook: - The perks of three: hotter sex, more love - Strategies to prevent freak-outs, jealousy, and general messiness - How to find the perfect third - Discovering your inner queer - When a ménage turns into love - how to create a successful triad relationship - Communication skills for couples - Knowing when to break it off - And much, much more. Drawing on personal experience, historical research, advice from pros, and hundreds of interviews with veteran and novice threesome adventurers, Vantoch covers the gamut of possibilities in threesome sex and triad relationships. The Threesome Handbook is the essential road map for couples and singles to explore new territory or just spice things up in the sack.

30 review for The Threesome Handbook: Make the Most of Your Favorite Fantasy - the Ultimate Guide for Tri-Curious Singles and Couples

  1. 4 out of 5

    Exina

    "Everyone’s got a kinky side." The Threesome Handbook is a practical, informative, well-structured manual, written in a very casual, engaging and entertaining style. Ms. Vantoch covers her subject adequately, using her personal experiences and interviewing more than a hundred “threesome veterans, dabblers, and dreamers.” The book is very thorough; it provides: • Communication activities. • Hunting and dating tips, three-way seduction exercises. Couples on the prowl need teamwork. Generally, i "Everyone’s got a kinky side." The Threesome Handbook is a practical, informative, well-structured manual, written in a very casual, engaging and entertaining style. Ms. Vantoch covers her subject adequately, using her personal experiences and interviewing more than a hundred “threesome veterans, dabblers, and dreamers.” The book is very thorough; it provides: • Communication activities. • Hunting and dating tips, three-way seduction exercises. Couples on the prowl need teamwork. Generally, it works best when the man knows how to play it cool and give the woman space to connect. Let the woman develop chemistry. Basically, the lifestyle motto can be summed up: “Men behave, women go wild”. • The pros and cons of threesome flings or emotional triad relationships: it gives an overview of different threesome relationship models. • Moral questions, managing jealousy, rivalry and possessiveness. • Tips on living an unconventional lifestyle in the long run, and the secrets of a blissful triad relationship. • Sexual positions, techniques, and safe sex for three. • And advices for coming out about your trisexuality: Test the waters first. Start by mentioning an article you read about open relationships or threesomes. If your friend shouts, “Those motherfuckers are going to hell!” reconsider outing yourself. The Threesome Handbook provides not only information and advice, but also clear, moral arguments on the subject. I especially enjoyed discovering how much I agree with the author: she confirmed my thoughts and beliefs, putting them into coherent sentences. Despite its complex content, it is a very light read, peppered with laugh-out-loud humor: I especially enjoyed the Necessary Seduction Accouterment tips after the dating tips, and the Vocabulary Builders. The truth is: love ain’t easy. And, love is even trickier to follow when it surfaces in unconventional ways. Serious relationships require work and when you’re in one that your parents scowl at and mainstream society shuns, it’s easier to quit when there’s a bump along the way. Diving into a threesome relationship is like getting a PhD in love. My favorite quotes.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Brianne

    First of all, Vicki Vantoch is so goddamn clever that it's near criminal. I'm pretty sure she could write me a review of the back of a cereal box and I'd give it five stars, so perhaps I'm biased; but, to be fair, it's hard to find women who are, like Vantoch, whip smart, honest, and unabashedly sexually curious. I'm sure a lot of people take this book at face value as just a position guide with maybe some behavioral hints. And those people will get what they're looking for- nestled into an exha First of all, Vicki Vantoch is so goddamn clever that it's near criminal. I'm pretty sure she could write me a review of the back of a cereal box and I'd give it five stars, so perhaps I'm biased; but, to be fair, it's hard to find women who are, like Vantoch, whip smart, honest, and unabashedly sexually curious. I'm sure a lot of people take this book at face value as just a position guide with maybe some behavioral hints. And those people will get what they're looking for- nestled into an exhaustive exploration into the dynamics of triads and group relationships. Any question you have surely dredged up in your many hours of pondering the subject, Vantoch has an answer, or at least a good reference for where to seek further elaboration. Homegirl did her homework, to put it lightly. It's like reading a textbook, except you didn't pay $300 for it and will sell it back for $50 at the end of the semester. Also, it's fantastically interesting. Not that I discriminate against textbooks. I digress. As someone who is bisexual and has been in an open relationship for nearly 6 years, this book spoke deeply to me and my concerns in my lifestyle- however, I feel like it's accessible enough that the straight (but curious) monogamous reader will be able to grab on with both hands. So to speak. I would recommend this to anyone considering a triad, polyamory, a one-time threesome or a full time fling. I would recommend it to the sociology buff who is curious about sexual and relationship dynamics outside of monogamy and binary. I would also recommend myself to Vantoch and her husband should they decide they want a fourth. READ IT. You're only robbing yourself if you don't.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Lindsay

    Full disclosure: I started reading this book because Misha Collins' wife wrote it and talks about their experiences. No regrets so far, actually. She's a rather clever writer and fun as hell. In addition to being sassy and informative, she's also unpretentious and has a wonderfully welcoming, inviting tone that definitely sells her ideas. I'm going to pick up her other book, The Jet Sex, as soon as I can. Yet another reason to love the Collins-Vantoch family - they're wonderful, intelligent peop Full disclosure: I started reading this book because Misha Collins' wife wrote it and talks about their experiences. No regrets so far, actually. She's a rather clever writer and fun as hell. In addition to being sassy and informative, she's also unpretentious and has a wonderfully welcoming, inviting tone that definitely sells her ideas. I'm going to pick up her other book, The Jet Sex, as soon as I can. Yet another reason to love the Collins-Vantoch family - they're wonderful, intelligent people who march to the beat of their own drum and have so much love for each other. And after reading this book, I feel like I've got a bit of a peek inside Misha and Vicki's 20+ year marriage and why it works so well: love, support, acceptance, communication, individuality.. love it.

  4. 5 out of 5

    ERIN SCHMIDT

    I love nonfiction books about sexuality in general, and I wanted to read this one specifically because I thought it might be good research for future short stories and novel scenes. I’ve written threesomes before, but I could always learn to write them hotter. I started reading this book ages ago, but I kept putting it away when guests came over and then getting distracted by other books. That's not to say that it's uninteresting or boring - far from it. Granted, I did skip a few passages that di I love nonfiction books about sexuality in general, and I wanted to read this one specifically because I thought it might be good research for future short stories and novel scenes. I’ve written threesomes before, but I could always learn to write them hotter. I started reading this book ages ago, but I kept putting it away when guests came over and then getting distracted by other books. That's not to say that it's uninteresting or boring - far from it. Granted, I did skip a few passages that didn't apply to me, but overall, I enjoyed this very much. It's really more 4.5 stars than 4. Vicki Vantoch is the kind of smart girl who makes me want to do stupid things. She’s brilliant and witty. I laughed out loud several times throughout the book, just like I do with Lemony Snicket things. She has one of the best jobs I could imagine: anthropologist and historian who specializes in the history of sex. In physical appearance, she reminds me of the singer Sara Bareilles. Funny, smart, cute, openly bisexual – Vicki Vantoch is my kind of writer. She’s also the mom of two adorable kidlings, son West and daughter Maison. Their dad is Vantoch’s life partner since they were 16 years old, the actor Dimitri Krushnik. But, as she writes on page 328, “Yale law professor Kenji Yoshino argues we are all pressured to ‘cover’ or to downplay stigmatized traits to blend into the mainstream. We do this in various ways—by hiding hearing aids or changing ethnic-sounding names to commercially viable ones.” In that exact manner, Dimitri is better known as Misha Collins. Which, I suppose, is not quite as Russian-sounding, even though Misha is still the traditional Russian nickname for Dimitri. (Didn’t Dimitri Belikov’s sisters call him Misha in the Vampire Academy novels?) I don’t watch Misha’s TV show, Supernatural, but thanks (or no thanks) to Tumblr, I’m still a little obsessed. With Destiel. But that’s a whole other story. Vantoch is candid about her own three-way relationship with her husband and her female best friend, but Collins is more guarded. She writes in the Acknowledgments, “And finally, M, my sweet coadventurer in love and life. Even though this book wasn’t his cup of tea, he was supportive from the beginning and was always there when I needed him with encouragement, egg sandwiches, and a brutally-honest critical eye. His patience, humor, openness to change, and super-human ability to love me without crushing me, continues to amaze me. I feel enormously lucky to be sharing this journey with him.” My favorite chapter is Chapter 5, which gets into some of the issues that not-bisexuals might face when in multiple partner relationships. It encourages people who consider themselves straight to be open to a range of experiences that might be pleasurable even if a bit outside their usual comfort zone, without obsessing about labels. Human beings seem to have an innate tendency to want everything neatly categorized, but our sexuality is much too fluid and varied for that. Vantoch gets that, and she’s able to write about it in a way that’s not only humorous but also quite sexy. Whether they read it for research, for practical tips, or simply out of curiosity, readers who are brave enough to pick this one up will be rewarded. I purchased this book with my own funds and was not obligated in any way to review it.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Kit Goode

    I think I can set the tone of this book for you fairly well by explaining that a lot of Vantoch's problem solving can be summed up with 'put your hand down your pants'. This book wasn't really aimed at me: I'm pretty comfortable with multiple relationships, but after accidentally blundering into a monogamous relationship (you know how that goes) I'd been recced it as a way of casually opening up a dialogue between me and the SO and the possibilities of different kinds of relationships. I can't s I think I can set the tone of this book for you fairly well by explaining that a lot of Vantoch's problem solving can be summed up with 'put your hand down your pants'. This book wasn't really aimed at me: I'm pretty comfortable with multiple relationships, but after accidentally blundering into a monogamous relationship (you know how that goes) I'd been recced it as a way of casually opening up a dialogue between me and the SO and the possibilities of different kinds of relationships. I can't say I was completely sold; I am fairly certain that any member of the Collins-Vantoch family could vom on a hanky and my friend would recommend it, but I've never been one to shy away from a sexy book about sex, so I gave it a go. I was surprised, relieved and grateful that I did. There wasn't much new information for me, but it definitely gave me ways of approaching the poly issue with non-poly partners in the future in a way that let me be fun without being flippant. It's such a chill book, that is the only way I can think to describe it. It's unpatronising and a bit sassy, telling you when it's all right to stick to your boundaries (always) and when it's worth considering pushing them a little - if you've read the Ethical Slut then you know where this book is at. Vicki Vantoch, despite the title, discusses fairly indepth the various types of relationships that can be formed with multiple partners (something I had been concerned about pre-reading) as well as pointing out that the whole beauty of non-conventional relationships is that you get to make your own decision on how you and your partners work best and make your own template. Practical wise: there's a little bit of information repetition, especially at the beginning, but I put that down to the idea that this book is designed to be read in short bursts rather then in long stretches. The language can be twee to the point of teeth grinding at times but it's made up for peppering of the word schtooping, which is my new favourite word. There are also a couple of out of date links for websites, but that can hardly be held against a 5 year old book. So, yeah. Think about threesomes, then stick your hand in your undercrackers. Can't say much more then that.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Dean

    Whoo boy. The fandom is not going to love me for this one. Disclaimer: I adore Vicki, I am completely supportive of polyamory, I am not marking this as a two-star review for being closed-minded or anti-Vicki at all. The book is great for people within the confines of the gender-norm looking to explore threesomes or polyamory. There are actual experiences, actual tips and lots of studying and relevant information. The book wasn't for me, because I am a demisexual trans-man whose experiences with ab Whoo boy. The fandom is not going to love me for this one. Disclaimer: I adore Vicki, I am completely supportive of polyamory, I am not marking this as a two-star review for being closed-minded or anti-Vicki at all. The book is great for people within the confines of the gender-norm looking to explore threesomes or polyamory. There are actual experiences, actual tips and lots of studying and relevant information. The book wasn't for me, because I am a demisexual trans-man whose experiences with abuse and toxicity have really impacted aspects of my mental health. I didn't feel like this book helped alleviate any of my personal thoughts. And, honestly, I felt bad reading some of these things- like I might be broken, or, less-than. And I'm very sure that wasn't the intent- but, a warning out there for other people who don't fit into the nice box of 'normal human'. I am absolutely still a fan of Vicki's (and Misha's- her husband) and am very glad that I read this. It's just not for me- at least the book isn't.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Courtney Golden

    she writes in too cutesy a way that I found annoying. a lot of the advice was just common sense. still, it was fun to read about some of my favorite tv star's habits. she writes in too cutesy a way that I found annoying. a lot of the advice was just common sense. still, it was fun to read about some of my favorite tv star's habits.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Alexis Wilder

    Book Review | In Vicki Vantoch’s The Threesome Handbook, more’s the merrier as long as you play by the rules. Author and sexual historian Vicki Vantoch weaves interviews, research, and personal experience together in her guide to threesome sex and triad relationships. As well as highlighting the positives of such unions: less codependency, hotter sex (truly, there are diagrams), she also anticipates the negatives and counsels how to avoid making huge, sexy mistakes. She explains that though she i Book Review | In Vicki Vantoch’s The Threesome Handbook, more’s the merrier as long as you play by the rules. Author and sexual historian Vicki Vantoch weaves interviews, research, and personal experience together in her guide to threesome sex and triad relationships. As well as highlighting the positives of such unions: less codependency, hotter sex (truly, there are diagrams), she also anticipates the negatives and counsels how to avoid making huge, sexy mistakes. She explains that though she is a bit of a square, citing that she’s even married to her high school sweetheart (actor, Misha Collins), “everyone’s got a kinky side” and then proceeds to share a lot about hers. This personal section shows her to be a thoughtful and extremely curious woman that anyone reading would want to befriend. It ends with a warning that the advice she has given might turn your life upside down, which only heightens the anticipation for the fun ahead. She sprinkles other personal anecdotes (without naming names) throughout, continually reminding us that she doesn’t just talk the talk. The fact that she is coming from a place of experience lends her loads of credibility. Everyone worries about jealousy in threesomes, and she addresses it frankly saying, “Jealousy is a bitch.” Then, rather than serving up empty platitudes to write the problem away, she maintains that learning to process through hard emotions with good communication can lead to personal growth and enhanced intimacy. “Learning to manage jealousy can lead you to a sweet spot inside yourself, where you feel so confident you no longer seek validation from anyone else. And that’s a beautiful thing.” Vantoch has interviewed medical professionals, sex workers, friends, and more to provide a well balanced take on the many emotional, spiritual and physical issues that introducing additional sexual partners into your love life can bring. These anecdotes make it clear that she is not alone in her advocacy for ethical polyamory. Also, they round out the topic by sharing specific details about what goes on behind their own closed doors, unshrouding the mystery so often forced onto these human experiences. Much of the advice found in this handbook can be boiled down to the essential element present in all good relationships: communication. In every chapter, it is repeated and rephrased that honest and open communication is the only way in which these events can resolve into happy endings. Many examples of poor versus good communications skills are played out to hammer the point home and emphasize its importance. Still, she acknowledges that people unused to expressing their emotions fully will have trouble with this aspect of her advice, and that perhaps threeways are just not for them. Solid quotes and statistics help back up the idea that being open, sharing your love occasionally, and/or committing to more than one sexual partner can aide people’s personal growth and journey through life. The research compiled and utilized to support the choice of this path is wide in scope and helps reflect a nuanced approach to broadening erotic horizons. She quotes Jalal ad-Din Rumi, a Persian poet and mystic as saying, “If you could untie your wings/ And free your soul of jealousy/ You and everyone around you/ Would fly up like doves.” A ringing endorsement for mass coupling if ever one existed. The book gets repetitive at times, especially concerning safe sex practices. But the latex lectures don’t detract too much from this insider’s tour of the wilder side of romance. The Threesome Handbook is a fascinating read for all adults, whether they have “secret dreams of reinventing their love lives” or not. Vantoch covers a lot of sexual and emotional ground, and though there are more than a few titillating passages (Did I mention the diagrams and that at least one of her threesome partners is a huge television and social media star?) the practical relationship advice makes this guide helpful for all types of respectful, honest, and loving partnerships, no matter what the head count.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Ashley Wallis

    Victoria Vantoch is amazing, and although the forthrightness of her words even had me blushing, The Threesome Handbook has really great information on subjects extending past adding a third and into relationships as a whole with a strong emphasis on the importance of communication, self awareness, and trust...truly a great book to read, re-read, and keep around. Resources and checklists provided throughout give the reader a real worldview of the possibilities available to them. Ms. Vantoch did a Victoria Vantoch is amazing, and although the forthrightness of her words even had me blushing, The Threesome Handbook has really great information on subjects extending past adding a third and into relationships as a whole with a strong emphasis on the importance of communication, self awareness, and trust...truly a great book to read, re-read, and keep around. Resources and checklists provided throughout give the reader a real worldview of the possibilities available to them. Ms. Vantoch did an amazing job de-stigmatizing poly relationships and redefining what should be classed as social norms, as well as challenging heteronormativity. I only wish this voice was one we heard more often. Ballsy, straightforward, smart, and written almost as a conversation between you and someone who knows better, The Threesome Handbook is something you should most definitely read - even if you're not looking for a third, but just want a way to understand your and your partner's wants and desires in a relationship and in the bedroom.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Larissa

    This book is full of good advice for twosomes, threesomes, and more than that. I found that many of the tips for managing and balancing a threesome were just as applicable to maintaining a two-person relationship. I wish there had been something on non-sexual threesome relationships, or partially-sexual. As an asexual person, I prefer relationships that don't require sex. Maybe none of her interviewees had asexual partners. I get it's about getting laid; I'm still disappointed. Although the writi This book is full of good advice for twosomes, threesomes, and more than that. I found that many of the tips for managing and balancing a threesome were just as applicable to maintaining a two-person relationship. I wish there had been something on non-sexual threesome relationships, or partially-sexual. As an asexual person, I prefer relationships that don't require sex. Maybe none of her interviewees had asexual partners. I get it's about getting laid; I'm still disappointed. Although the writing was entertaining and engaging, it wasn't quite what I'm used to for non-fiction (yes, I'm an academic type). I got quite a few laughs from the stories. I don't like the term "schtooping" but I got used to it. Overall, the rhythm of the text is choppy and lends itself to reading a bit before bed each night, and I can't think of a better place to read this book.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Kitt

    Ok book. I mean I'm rating it as having been liked, and on the whole it was fine and readable and interesting, but in places a little too matey matey, nudge wink for me. Having said that though I did manage to zip through it fairly quickly - I had been recommended 'The Ethical Slut', and time and again I find it turgid and unreadble (I have tried a number of times), so at least this engages interest. The advice is a little general and common sensey, but Vantoch does seem to have a passion for th Ok book. I mean I'm rating it as having been liked, and on the whole it was fine and readable and interesting, but in places a little too matey matey, nudge wink for me. Having said that though I did manage to zip through it fairly quickly - I had been recommended 'The Ethical Slut', and time and again I find it turgid and unreadble (I have tried a number of times), so at least this engages interest. The advice is a little general and common sensey, but Vantoch does seem to have a passion for the subject and it raises some interesting questions.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Brandy Shark

    Vicki Vantoch is such a wonderful writer; she weaves humor and facts into this very interesting book. She uses research as well as personal tales into explaining and helping define the best ways to have a threesome, or build a loving, threesome relationship. Absolutely a fun read, and informative. If Vicki ever writes another book, on any subject, I will gladly and eagerly go out and buy it.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Leda

    Admittedly, this was a very unusual corona-inspired read for me, but against all odds I did appreciate it. It helps that the book isn't written in a text book dryness. Its straightforward, and has a casual register. So much so that for better or worse the word 'shtooping' has been burned into my cornea. Vantoch explains the ins and outs, pun intended, of triads, threesomes and the importance of good communication in relationships. The latter is a no brainer in concept, but the writing made it in Admittedly, this was a very unusual corona-inspired read for me, but against all odds I did appreciate it. It helps that the book isn't written in a text book dryness. Its straightforward, and has a casual register. So much so that for better or worse the word 'shtooping' has been burned into my cornea. Vantoch explains the ins and outs, pun intended, of triads, threesomes and the importance of good communication in relationships. The latter is a no brainer in concept, but the writing made it interesting and even illuminating nonetheless.

  14. 5 out of 5

    ERIN SCHMIDT

    I love nonfiction books about sexuality in general, and I wanted to read this one specifically because I thought it might be good research for future short stories and novel scenes. I’ve written threesomes before, but I could always learn to write them hotter. I started reading this book ages ago, but I kept putting it away when guests came over and then getting distracted by other books. That's not to say that it's uninteresting or boring - far from it. Granted, I did skip a few passages that di I love nonfiction books about sexuality in general, and I wanted to read this one specifically because I thought it might be good research for future short stories and novel scenes. I’ve written threesomes before, but I could always learn to write them hotter. I started reading this book ages ago, but I kept putting it away when guests came over and then getting distracted by other books. That's not to say that it's uninteresting or boring - far from it. Granted, I did skip a few passages that didn't apply to me, but overall, I enjoyed this very much. It's really more 4.5 stars than 4. Vicki Vantoch is the kind of smart girl who makes me want to do stupid things. She’s brilliant and witty. I laughed out loud several times throughout the book, just like I do with Lemony Snicket things. She has one of the best jobs I could imagine: anthropologist and historian who specializes in the history of sex. In physical appearance, she reminds me of the singer Sara Bareilles. Funny, smart, cute, openly bisexual – Vicki Vantoch is my kind of writer. She’s also the mom of two adorable kidlings, son West and daughter Maison. Their dad is Vantoch’s life partner since they were 16 years old, the actor Dimitri Krushnik. But, as she writes on page 328, “Yale law professor Kenji Yoshino argues we are all pressured to ‘cover’ or to downplay stigmatized traits to blend into the mainstream. We do this in various ways—by hiding hearing aids or changing ethnic-sounding names to commercially viable ones.” In that exact manner, Dimitri is better known as Misha Collins. Which, I suppose, is not quite as Russian-sounding, even though Misha is still the traditional Russian nickname for Dimitri. (Didn’t Dimitri Belikov’s sisters call him Misha in the Vampire Academy novels?) Vantoch is candid about her own three-way relationship with her husband and her female best friend, but Collins is more guarded. She writes in the Acknowledgments, “And finally, M, my sweet coadventurer in love and life. Even though this book wasn’t his cup of tea, he was supportive from the beginning and was always there when I needed him with encouragement, egg sandwiches, and a brutally-honest critical eye. His patience, humor, openness to change, and super-human ability to love me without crushing me, continues to amaze me. I feel enormously lucky to be sharing this journey with him.” My favorite chapter is Chapter 5, which gets into some of the issues that not-bisexuals might face when in multiple partner relationships. It encourages people who consider themselves straight to be open to a range of experiences that might be pleasurable even if a bit outside their usual comfort zone, without obsessing about labels. Human beings seem to have an innate tendency to want everything neatly categorized, but our sexuality is much too fluid and varied for that. Vantoch gets that, and she’s able to write about it in a way that’s not only humorous but also quite sexy. Whether they read it for research, for practical tips, or simply out of curiosity, readers who are brave enough to pick this one up will be rewarded. I purchased this book with my own funds and was not obligated in any way to review it.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Ahavah

    When I heard that Misha Collins's wife literally wrote the handbook on threesomes, I had to check it out for pure curiosity and fangirl's sake. Sadly, my adventures in that realm are purely academic/vicarious...but I did get some tips on how to try to get my husband on board, plus good reminders not to push or wheedle. I'm a polyamorist at heart despite being in a monogamous marriage, so perhaps this is preaching to the choir in my case. I liked the book. Mostly. She covers ideas like introducing When I heard that Misha Collins's wife literally wrote the handbook on threesomes, I had to check it out for pure curiosity and fangirl's sake. Sadly, my adventures in that realm are purely academic/vicarious...but I did get some tips on how to try to get my husband on board, plus good reminders not to push or wheedle. I'm a polyamorist at heart despite being in a monogamous marriage, so perhaps this is preaching to the choir in my case. I liked the book. Mostly. She covers ideas like introducing the idea to one's partner, dating strategies, communication techniques, self-awareness, safer sex, deepening relationships and how to manage those (not just sex!), embracing or exploring one's gayness or bisexuality, coming out as 'trisexual', and even a position guide and an appendix with further resources. The book is very thorough. It has a friendly, conversational vibe, though she does get a bit twee for my tastes. If I never see the word “schtooping” again, I will die happy regardless of whether I ever actually get my threesome on. There are also quite a few typos that really should have been caught on edit, but otherwise it's a really great resource and interesting read.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Elizabeth

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. borrowed from library, 1 Feb. 2014 my edition has a different subtitle philosophy is good, instructions for going down on women is pretty good, guidelines for safer sex practices are downright skimpy and are really just instructions to find info elsewhere Chapter 1 Three's Company Chapter 2 Dare to Dream: Fantasizing Your Way to a Threesome Chapter 3 The Mating3 Game: Finding the Perfect Tri-Lovers Chapter 4 Three Can Be a Crowd: Strategies for Navigating Freak-outs, Jealousy, and General Messiness Cha borrowed from library, 1 Feb. 2014 my edition has a different subtitle philosophy is good, instructions for going down on women is pretty good, guidelines for safer sex practices are downright skimpy and are really just instructions to find info elsewhere Chapter 1 Three's Company Chapter 2 Dare to Dream: Fantasizing Your Way to a Threesome Chapter 3 The Mating3 Game: Finding the Perfect Tri-Lovers Chapter 4 Three Can Be a Crowd: Strategies for Navigating Freak-outs, Jealousy, and General Messiness Chapter 5 Discovering the Inner Queer: What to Do When Same-Sex Lovin' Is Part of the Equation Chapter 6 Keeping It Clean: Safer Sex for Three Chapter 7 The Joy of (Sex)3: Positions, Techniques, and Instructional Diagrams Just for Three Chapter 8 Rainbows and Butterflies, Oh My! When a Hot Three-way Turns into Love Appendix A: Communication Activities and Resources Appendix B: Relationship and Sexuality Resources Notes Acknowledgments About the Author

  17. 4 out of 5

    Sam Brehm

    I really think this book is worth reading, even for someone who is not interested in having a threesome. 1) The book is great at what it's meant to be: "A Practical Guide to Sleeping With Three." It is aware and accepting of and addresses many situations, while still focusing on the most common target demographics. 2) It is written with a number of things in mind, including being sex-positive, queer-positive, body-positive, and feminist. Finding a book that's good and *also* not super problematic I really think this book is worth reading, even for someone who is not interested in having a threesome. 1) The book is great at what it's meant to be: "A Practical Guide to Sleeping With Three." It is aware and accepting of and addresses many situations, while still focusing on the most common target demographics. 2) It is written with a number of things in mind, including being sex-positive, queer-positive, body-positive, and feminist. Finding a book that's good and *also* not super problematic or frustrating to read is *fantastic.* 3) It has a lot of perspectives and a lot of specific ideas about cultivating communication and relationship skills that EVERYONE could make use of, including those in monogamous relationships, partnered-but-open relationships, and polyamorous relationships.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Nae

    This was a very informative but laid back type of book. I was pleased to see there was a whole section dedicated to keeping yourself and your partners sexually safe. And there were so many, many, MANY sections about how to handle your emotions and communication. Because that is vital to these types of relationships! I laughed out loud a lot during the book because there was tid bits of humor stuck in randomly. (Or maybe I'm just weird) Highly recommended for people thinking about engaging in casual This was a very informative but laid back type of book. I was pleased to see there was a whole section dedicated to keeping yourself and your partners sexually safe. And there were so many, many, MANY sections about how to handle your emotions and communication. Because that is vital to these types of relationships! I laughed out loud a lot during the book because there was tid bits of humor stuck in randomly. (Or maybe I'm just weird) Highly recommended for people thinking about engaging in casual threesomes, triads, or any other time of non-monogamous relationship (because after reading the book, you will know there is no end to different types! :) which is a good thing), people already engaging in it, or if you're just interested in the subject. It's not boring and uses a lot of real experiences from a vast amount of people.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Sara

    Hilarious and informative! Even if a triad isn't your thing, the lessons can be extrapolated and applied to monogamous relationships and friendships. It contains tips on how to start a romance, the difference between romance and sex, a lesson on new relationship energy and how it's NOT indicative of a lasting relationship (which a lot of people, myself included have mistaken for a good omen when really, it has no meaning at all), how to overcome jealousy and insecurities, etc! Regardless of whet Hilarious and informative! Even if a triad isn't your thing, the lessons can be extrapolated and applied to monogamous relationships and friendships. It contains tips on how to start a romance, the difference between romance and sex, a lesson on new relationship energy and how it's NOT indicative of a lasting relationship (which a lot of people, myself included have mistaken for a good omen when really, it has no meaning at all), how to overcome jealousy and insecurities, etc! Regardless of whether a threesome is your fantasy or not, I recommend reading it for anyone interested in interacting with other human beings.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Lynda

    I liked this book. Parts were very funny. It was full of information for those curious how those who manage threesomes do so successfully, or how to have a threesome if that is your interest. Plenty of the advice for trios can be applied to couples too.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Jenn Moss

    Okay, yes. I picked this up because I'm a Misha Collins fangirl and Victoria Vantoch happens to be married to him. But it was well worth reading regardless--clever, practical, a little snarky and a whole lot of fun! I recommend it whether or not you're looking for a poly relationship. Okay, yes. I picked this up because I'm a Misha Collins fangirl and Victoria Vantoch happens to be married to him. But it was well worth reading regardless--clever, practical, a little snarky and a whole lot of fun! I recommend it whether or not you're looking for a poly relationship.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Jen

    I read it for work. Swear. Check out my review at http://bookaweekwithjen.blogspot.com/... I read it for work. Swear. Check out my review at http://bookaweekwithjen.blogspot.com/...

  23. 4 out of 5

    Angela

    I read it cuz it was mentioned in Savage Love; not cuz that's what I'm in to, honest. I read it cuz it was mentioned in Savage Love; not cuz that's what I'm in to, honest.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Anthony

    If you have time and a sense of humor (and "flexibility"), I strongly advise you to read The Threesome Handbook. Enjoy ;) If you have time and a sense of humor (and "flexibility"), I strongly advise you to read The Threesome Handbook. Enjoy ;)

  25. 4 out of 5

    Ian

    Brilliantly written, and amazingly informative. Amusing, and candid. A must read for those who are tri-curious.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Nicedanger

    :o

  27. 4 out of 5

    Daire Denis

    Loved it! The right amount of good information mixed in with a light tone and a bit of snark. An enjoyable, informative read.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Elia Winters

    Fun, light-hearted, and thoughtful book on a complex topic. Vantoch strikes a nice balance between whimsy and honest, truthful advice, and the text is easily readable as well as persuasive.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Stacey Kolesnikow

    it was very... um... enlightening. I learned so much from it that next time I'm hanging out with some of my friends - they'll never see it coming! it was very... um... enlightening. I learned so much from it that next time I'm hanging out with some of my friends - they'll never see it coming!

  30. 4 out of 5

    Margaret

    Very helpful and informative even for monogamous relationships.

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