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How to Traumatize Your Children: 7 Proven Methods to Help You Screw Up Your Kids Deliberately and with Skill

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While it’s inevitable that all of us will traumatize our children, even the most committed parents have lacked guidance in doing so deliberately and effectively. Don’t leave your most important job to instinct and gut reactions—whether you want to traumatize your children with the same techniques your parents used or you prefer to choose an entirely new approach, this book While it’s inevitable that all of us will traumatize our children, even the most committed parents have lacked guidance in doing so deliberately and effectively. Don’t leave your most important job to instinct and gut reactions—whether you want to traumatize your children with the same techniques your parents used or you prefer to choose an entirely new approach, this book will show you the way! The perfect guide for both new and experienced parents Part of the acclaimed and proven-to-work Self-Hurt Series Hardcover; 4.875 x 7.175 inches; 192 pages; full-color throughout


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While it’s inevitable that all of us will traumatize our children, even the most committed parents have lacked guidance in doing so deliberately and effectively. Don’t leave your most important job to instinct and gut reactions—whether you want to traumatize your children with the same techniques your parents used or you prefer to choose an entirely new approach, this book While it’s inevitable that all of us will traumatize our children, even the most committed parents have lacked guidance in doing so deliberately and effectively. Don’t leave your most important job to instinct and gut reactions—whether you want to traumatize your children with the same techniques your parents used or you prefer to choose an entirely new approach, this book will show you the way! The perfect guide for both new and experienced parents Part of the acclaimed and proven-to-work Self-Hurt Series Hardcover; 4.875 x 7.175 inches; 192 pages; full-color throughout

30 review for How to Traumatize Your Children: 7 Proven Methods to Help You Screw Up Your Kids Deliberately and with Skill

  1. 4 out of 5

    Tink Magoo is bad at reviews

    I'm pretty sure I've already succeeded at this- what with the 'foreskin' talk because my other half is a chicken shit and wouldn't talk about it and the 'special cuddle' baby making talk, plus the 'block your ears and hum to yourself after your Dad's had a few beers' talk - still, there are more things I could be doing to ensure good traumatisation to my children. I'm pretty sure I've already succeeded at this- what with the 'foreskin' talk because my other half is a chicken shit and wouldn't talk about it and the 'special cuddle' baby making talk, plus the 'block your ears and hum to yourself after your Dad's had a few beers' talk - still, there are more things I could be doing to ensure good traumatisation to my children.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Pavel

    This books is to parenting as Colbert Report is to republicans.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Christine

    This is more like a funny idea, and you get a giggle out of the fact that this book exists, but it's not written in an amusing enough manner to make it last through 144 pages. It's more...sad. Because everything in this book happens, but not on purpose (or at least, not consciously) and you know it's just a vicious cycle of awful. I've got a pretty well-developed sense of humor (see Go the Fuck to Sleep), but this just didn't do anything for me. This is more like a funny idea, and you get a giggle out of the fact that this book exists, but it's not written in an amusing enough manner to make it last through 144 pages. It's more...sad. Because everything in this book happens, but not on purpose (or at least, not consciously) and you know it's just a vicious cycle of awful. I've got a pretty well-developed sense of humor (see Go the Fuck to Sleep), but this just didn't do anything for me.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Vi

    Quite a funny and witty book. This dark satire on parenting (at least, I hope that that's what it really is behind the mask!) had me chuckling most of the time--even if at times really guiltily being a mother and all--but it also made me hyper-aware of all the shit I must not do to my kid. Like another reviewer said, reading through the traumatizing techniques actually is made me truly sad for those who will endure/currently endure/have endured these very real and unfortunate familial situations Quite a funny and witty book. This dark satire on parenting (at least, I hope that that's what it really is behind the mask!) had me chuckling most of the time--even if at times really guiltily being a mother and all--but it also made me hyper-aware of all the shit I must not do to my kid. Like another reviewer said, reading through the traumatizing techniques actually is made me truly sad for those who will endure/currently endure/have endured these very real and unfortunate familial situations.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Nathan Brant

    My 12 year-old daughter presented this book to me for my birthday . . . I leave it to you, dear reader, to dredge the depths of meaning in that gesture. At turns laugh-out-loud funny and horrifying, this parody of a parenting book might be the reminder you need that you're not doing such a bad job after all. It's a quick read and very quotable. Enjoy and don't take it too seriously. My 12 year-old daughter presented this book to me for my birthday . . . I leave it to you, dear reader, to dredge the depths of meaning in that gesture. At turns laugh-out-loud funny and horrifying, this parody of a parenting book might be the reminder you need that you're not doing such a bad job after all. It's a quick read and very quotable. Enjoy and don't take it too seriously.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Ahmad

    I don't usually write many reviews, but this book might be the best hidden jewel I ever stumbled upon. So much truth, too real, too close to home. Makes you realize how fucked up your childhood was (at least mine) and how so many parents have no fucking clue what they're doing. I recommend for EVERYONE - you will either learn something painfully true about yourself or at least you will learn how to traumatized your children ;) I don't usually write many reviews, but this book might be the best hidden jewel I ever stumbled upon. So much truth, too real, too close to home. Makes you realize how fucked up your childhood was (at least mine) and how so many parents have no fucking clue what they're doing. I recommend for EVERYONE - you will either learn something painfully true about yourself or at least you will learn how to traumatized your children ;)

  7. 5 out of 5

    Candace

    So far I'm doing a great job at traumatizing my kids. Glad for the reassurance. So far I'm doing a great job at traumatizing my kids. Glad for the reassurance.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Lydia Ingram

    Very funny. But frighteningly accurate. I'd give it a higher rating but I'm afraid of what that would say about me. :) Very funny. But frighteningly accurate. I'd give it a higher rating but I'm afraid of what that would say about me. :)

  9. 5 out of 5

    Qin Li

    Maybe my sense of humor got much darker. I picked up this book again and it doesn't seem that funny anymore... Maybe my sense of humor got much darker. I picked up this book again and it doesn't seem that funny anymore...

  10. 5 out of 5

    Géraldine

    Well done. It becomes to be funny but it's so true that this kind of parents exists! Make me thinking about how I am with children. Well done. It becomes to be funny but it's so true that this kind of parents exists! Make me thinking about how I am with children.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Benjamin

    A friend of mine loaned me this book to help prepare me for the joys of parenting by using a slightly humorous slant on the standard parenting books that hand out helpful advice for parents to be. While I chuckled at some of the pages as I flipped through the book, once I sat down to read it, I almost immediately became depressed. Sure, How to Traumatize Your Children is tongue-in-cheek, but that only lasts through the first few chapters. Overall, it’s virtually a traumatizing look into actual b A friend of mine loaned me this book to help prepare me for the joys of parenting by using a slightly humorous slant on the standard parenting books that hand out helpful advice for parents to be. While I chuckled at some of the pages as I flipped through the book, once I sat down to read it, I almost immediately became depressed. Sure, How to Traumatize Your Children is tongue-in-cheek, but that only lasts through the first few chapters. Overall, it’s virtually a traumatizing look into actual bad parenting instead of a comedic take on it. The moment that it hit me how real these “methods” are was when I started to realize many parents inadvertently use them to their children’s disadvantage. From my own experience, and observing the experiences of others, this book presents each one of these methods in somewhat horrifying detail. The only way this book gets away with it is by humorously implying that these parents and parents-to-be are purposely choosing to pursue these paths for rearing their children. It was amusing at first, but the effect quickly wore off. Perhaps if the suggested actions in this book were more extreme—so as to be considered ridiculous—then the humor might have lasted. In the end, this book is still useful in the sense that it paints a cautionary tale for parents to heed in raising their children. As a kind of “opposite guidebook,” this book manages to highlight the ways that we can do a disservice to our children. Parents can fail their children in numerous ways, but being aware of these methods can certainly help stave off some of the needed therapy in the child’s future. So, while this book’s humor might fall flat in the first few pages, it still contains relatively relevant information for parents. Surprisingly useful information, even if the humor doesn’t last, I give How to Traumatize Your Children 3.0 stars out of 5.    For more reviews of books and movies like this, please visit www.benjamin-m-weilert.com

  12. 4 out of 5

    Joseph Young

    I had hoped that this would be either a tongue in cheek way of criticizing parents or some way to actually improve kids through trauma, but this book plays it straight. Instead of offering anything novel or useful, it's an encyclopedia of parenting (or parental) suffering. It gets old and boring. The humor caused by the concept is lost by the third chapter. Would not recommend reading this book except for messed up people trying to diagnose how their parents messed them up. So disappointed, like I had hoped that this would be either a tongue in cheek way of criticizing parents or some way to actually improve kids through trauma, but this book plays it straight. Instead of offering anything novel or useful, it's an encyclopedia of parenting (or parental) suffering. It gets old and boring. The humor caused by the concept is lost by the third chapter. Would not recommend reading this book except for messed up people trying to diagnose how their parents messed them up. So disappointed, like my parents were in me.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Claudio Arato

    This is a sneaky book. The traumatized are the parents reading this because the reader will find elements of themselves and those around them in the tenets of this book. It comes across as "this is what you are already doing so be prepared", so some of it hits pretty close to home. There are some actual real thoughts in there. A good read, like how good it feels after the band aid has been ripped away. This is a sneaky book. The traumatized are the parents reading this because the reader will find elements of themselves and those around them in the tenets of this book. It comes across as "this is what you are already doing so be prepared", so some of it hits pretty close to home. There are some actual real thoughts in there. A good read, like how good it feels after the band aid has been ripped away.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Elizabeth Webber

    I know it's supposed to be funny, and some parts really are, but mostly I felt profoundly sad reading this. I don't want to feel sad reading a book like this. Maybe that's a "me" issue, not the book. Too close to reality for too many kiddos for my taste. Five stars for the "Validation is for parking" line though! I know it's supposed to be funny, and some parts really are, but mostly I felt profoundly sad reading this. I don't want to feel sad reading a book like this. Maybe that's a "me" issue, not the book. Too close to reality for too many kiddos for my taste. Five stars for the "Validation is for parking" line though!

  15. 4 out of 5

    Caelea Armstrong

    Imagine writing a book so politically incorrect and potentially offensive that you can't give your real name as the author. I loved this handy guidebook, as I could relate to it in each chapter. In fact, this was so funny, I gave it to all the new parents in my family. Imagine writing a book so politically incorrect and potentially offensive that you can't give your real name as the author. I loved this handy guidebook, as I could relate to it in each chapter. In fact, this was so funny, I gave it to all the new parents in my family.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Beth

    This obviously tongue-in-cheek parenting book is actually fairly practical and often humbling. Realizing, "oh...I did that how many times today??" can be discouraging, but also might just be the kick in the pants needed to do better tomorrow! This obviously tongue-in-cheek parenting book is actually fairly practical and often humbling. Realizing, "oh...I did that how many times today??" can be discouraging, but also might just be the kick in the pants needed to do better tomorrow!

  17. 5 out of 5

    Kimberly Benfield

    This book is so awesome! I bought it as a gag gift for my partner who is a therapist, but the content is filled with amazing insights. Seriously, all parents need to own this book so they can learn what not to do!

  18. 5 out of 5

    Friscomama

    Not that funny, serves as a warning of good intentions that can go too far. I wouldn't pay for it, but I did finish this tiny book, and found it gently amusing. Not that funny, serves as a warning of good intentions that can go too far. I wouldn't pay for it, but I did finish this tiny book, and found it gently amusing.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Samuel

    So committed to its premise that it made me cringe in places. Not sure if this is brilliant, or just sad, so I'll go with three stars. So committed to its premise that it made me cringe in places. Not sure if this is brilliant, or just sad, so I'll go with three stars.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Nicole

    At times hilarious and other times it hit too close to home. I hope I'm not completely screwing up my kids! At times hilarious and other times it hit too close to home. I hope I'm not completely screwing up my kids!

  21. 5 out of 5

    Deb

    I picked this up in a gallery gift shop and read through a few pages. It appealed to my sense of humour and looked like it would be quite a funny read. The actual entire book, missed the mark for me though. It was a bit like seeing the shorts for a movie, that look really funny and then when you go to see the movie, those were the only funny bits in it.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Suzanne

    Interesting, fun, confrontational and sad.

  23. 4 out of 5

    Jonathon

    I tried, but got nothing out of the book. There is no way the attempt at humor is good for more than a few pages, let alone almost 150.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Edouard Reinach

    Funny. But not that funny. Perfect for the spot in the toilets

  25. 5 out of 5

    Christopher Mitchell

    Finally, I’ve learned how to properly and effectively traumatize my child. She is yet to be born, but already she is my Arch-Nemesis.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Susan Mangigian

    I got this as a Christmas gift from my older son a few years ago. He is a hysterical and this book is very funny.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Sedanur

    Pretty good book. It uses dark humour which can sometimes be too dark to laugh at, in fact.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Eman Tabbaa

    A funny book; it triggers the devil inside you 😎 and you may find the traumatizing style of your parents 🙈

  29. 4 out of 5

    Pierre

    A must read for the parent/uncle/aunt/godmother/godfather to be and a reminder or new learning for grandparents too 😊

  30. 5 out of 5

    Dogsandbooks

    Small but toxic...to read about all the things that can (and did) go wrong in one brief overview......Bracing and I suppose oddly comforting. Not the only one who went through this....

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